Why is it so difficult to learn to forgive ourselves?

One small, innocuous ‘mistake’ and our minds are sent instantly spinning. We feel upset, unsettledness, and regret – our inner voice tearing the very fabric of our inner peace.

We dread them because they expose our vulnerabilities. And, in spirit’s ‘defense’, we scramble to assign fault or affix blame.

But, the truth is – we all make mistakes. Life isn’t always perfect, my darlings – and, (spoiler alert) neither are we. Though, it’s often within these pockets of ‘perfectly imperfect’ – that a renewed faith, hope and resilience are born.

In fact, it’s often that which we’ve learned to despair which helps to make us ‘better’ humans.

Mistakes humble, forcing clarity and perspective. They shake us from our ‘comfort zones’, helping to initiate a moment of reflection.

Though, more so, they create the circumstances and condition by which the roots of shared understanding may take hold.

And yet, still our instinct is to run away; to push immediately past, and onward to better things.

Though, in doing so – we fail to understand; that we can not make progress without making mistakes. Even the Buddha suffered the pains of his own enlightenment. He overcompensated for the earlier luxury of his being, torturing himself in the name of spirituality.

Though, eventually even he found his middle way.

So often, we develop a sense of rigidity surrounding our mistakes. We forget their crucial role in helping us to gain insight.

As Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche once wrote in Training the Mind and Cultivating Loving-Kindness:

“We could blame the organization; we could blame the government; we could blame the police force; we could blame the weather; we could blame the food; we could blame the highways; we could blame our own motorcars, our own clothes; we could blame an infinite variety of things. But it is we who are not letting go.”

My darlings, it’s these very mistakes – as awful as they might seem – which help us to transform these ‘limitations of being’.

And, this is the simple truth within each and every one – that when we learn to embrace them, we can finally let it all go.

Namaste.