[blockquote source=”Pema Chodron”]”The Buddha said that we are never separated from enlightenment. Even at the times we feel most stuck, we are never alienated from the awakened state. This is a revolutionary assertion. Even ordinary people like us with hang-ups and confusion have this mind of enlightenment called bodhichitta.

The openness and warmth of bodhichitta is in fact our true nature and condition. Even when our neurosis feels far more basic than our wisdom, even when we’re feeling most confused and hopeless, bodhichitta—like the open sky—is always here, undiminished by the clouds that temporarily cover it.”[/blockquote]

My darlings, I hope you’ll not mind my sharing ~ not too long ago, I found myself ‘stuck’ in a terribly abusive relationship. Each day I lived in fear of that ‘time bomb’ going off – and, to the extent that I sadly began to retreat into myself.

For years I struggled with this sense of loss of my former self – once vibrant, always smiling, and never once worried about what the others might think.

Sometimes, the actions of others can have more of an impact than we might ever anticipate.

And, I was so spiritually unprepared for this experience. You see, my life up to this point had been filled with loving-kindness, mostly mutual respect, and a common hope for all of mankind. I was a dreamer, and a believer that all good stories ended well.

But, we’re never really prepared my darlings – to face those aspects of self that most need our love. When we’re beaten down, sometimes it’s hard to imagine ever getting up again.

One day, I’ll never forget, I heard a yelp from my pup. As I raced downstairs, there he was – cowering in a corner, with this viscous hateful man towering above.

“Leave…him…alone,” I screeched, racing to his aid.

And, in doing so, I walked straight into a closed fist to my cheek.

You might think something like this is spiritually unrecoverable – that once damaged in this way, those pieces remain broken.

But, that is the heart of this teaching, my dears – to understand, even in our worst moments, that the warmth of the bodhichitta is still there.

As I struggled to my feet, I could see in his eyes – that this was a man potentially more broken than anyone else. Now, I won’t say I felt sorry for him – particularly, not in that moment. Though, I will say, something happened that I could finally begin to see the humanity in his face.

“Even at the times we feel most stuck, we are never alienated from the awakened state…even when we’re feeling most confused and hopeless the bodhichitta is always here.”

Ironically, what started as fear and desperation – eventually became one of my most transformative moments. As Ani Pema might say, “Wherever we are, we can train as a warrior…We train when we’re caught off guard and when our life is up in the air.”

Indeed, without these gut-wrenching, questioning-our-soul sort of moments – would we ever truly know the heart of the Bodhisattva warrior?

My darlings, it’s precisely because of this experience that I am better able to connect with your beautiful hearts here each day.

Proving that sometimes our awakening ‘arrives’ when it’s least expected.

So, don’t be afraid to open this gift, my loves – as, it could be the very one you’ve wished for all your life.