[blockquote source=”Eckhart Tolle”]”And suddenly you know. It’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings…”[/blockquote]

I started Bikram yoga about a year ago, around the time I learned of this Parkinson’s ‘thing’…

I suppose, in a sense, I was searching for something – something a little bigger than this smallness of self. I was desperate to alleviate the anxiety of uncertainty – this ‘not knowing’ of the many years to come.

And, I found it right here, on a worn out old yoga mat – stuffed inside a 105 degree heated room, set at 30% humidity.

Oh, and how I hated it. I absolutely hated how that room made me feel – the gasping breaths, the wobbling twists, and that full length gaze into the mirror. I could see all of it – every detail of my every imperfection.

And, it made me feel so darned vulnerable. But, what I didn’t seem to realize at the time – was that, it wasn’t every really the room’s ‘fault’, at all.

Rather, this discomfort was simply a byproduct of my own revealing.

And, with each class…every tear, every bead of sweat…layer upon layer was removed;

Chipping pieces of my stubborn outer shell away, until, one day, finally, this ‘butterfly’ emerged.

[blockquote source=”Rumi”]”This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all!”[/blockquote]

And, that I did, most graciously.

Some days were wonderful, as I slipped easily in and out of postures – mind cleared of any mutterings on. And other days, well – they weren’t so very perfect.

Those were the days that challenged me most of all.

It can be quite terrifying to face down our own weaknesses. Our pulse may race, and stomachs wrench under the pressures of finally looking behind that door…to find out more of who we really are.

But, as I learned through the kindness and grace of my teachers…

“Perfection is found in our coming back.”

And, we must always come back, my dears. For, nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to learn.

[blockquote source=”Rumi”]”Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably.He may be clearing you out for some new delight.”[/blockquote]

Through our instability, we find focus and strength…and, through imperfection, an unwavering purpose and resolve.

But, you’ll never, ever find it, my dears – if you are too afraid of this coming back.

All of our bumps and bruises, these wobbles and shakes – they are, perhaps, the most critical tools to our moving on.

Without them, we might not ever know what it means to fall on our face…nor, understand the importance of not ever giving up.

Hint: Everyone tumbles, my dears. And, everyone will eventually fall. So, stop worrying so much about what the ‘others might think.’ I assure you, they’ve enough troubles on their own.

[blockquote source=”Rumi”]“The dark thought, the shame, the malice…meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whatever comes. Because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”[/blockquote]

Indeed, this being human is a guesthouse, and every morning there is a new arrival –

Greet them all with resolve and courage, knowing, full well, that without them…

We might not ever realize the most beautiful ‘pieces of you.’

Much love, and namaste my dears…