Tag: perception

Learning to Love In Spite of Our Pain.

“Among the men and women, the multitude,
I perceive one picking me out by secret and divine signs,
Acknowledging none else—not parent, wife, husband, brother, child,
any nearer than I am;
Some are baffled—But that one is not—that one knows me.” – Walt Whitman

I had the occasion yesterday to face one of my most outspoken critics.

Yes, my darlings – believe it or not, I experience them, too. And though, I’m generally well liked amongst my team, it seems – not everyone can be pleased.

Indeed, not everyone can be pleased. Likewise, some beliefs may be formed and founded on that which is completely unrelated to you.

And, since when is it our place upon this earth to right the opinion of others? To do so, would be an endlessly impossible task.

“It’s not what you look at that matters,” shared author, Henry David Thoreau, “it’s what you see.”

We spend so much of our time locked inside of judgement’s snare. Whether by way of self-criticism, or our discernment of others – our minds can’t help but to tumble inward.

But, what is it that we’re truly seeing?

Do we see ourselves through the eyes of compassion? Or, via the harsh veil of another person’s criticism?

More so, has it become such a deeply ingrained response – that, we’re often unaware of our movement towards it? These nearly imperceptible fluctuations of heart, at times seem so sadly unnoticed – as ‘common’ as the air we breathe.

Have we become, perhaps, so inadvertently ‘numb’ to the energy of loving-kindness?

I certainly don’t think so.

As for every instance of surly snipping, there’s a moment of compassion to replace it.

And, that’s the true test – now, isn’t it. It’s not how we behave while others are watching – rather, how we conduct ourselves when nothing is to be gained.

You see, one day those who’ve caused us the most unbearable pain – will be in a position of ‘needing’ love in return.

Love them anyway.

And,

Love them in spite of your pain.

THAT is what makes all the difference, my friends; and, THAT is what changes this world.

Love is really all and everything you’ll ever need – and, our purpose here is to help others  realize.

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Behind the Looking Glass.

William Blake once wrote, “If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite.”

Indeed, to see this world as it really is – absent the dialogue of thinking mind – is to finally understand the depth of our own limitlessness.

And, each time we struggle with the harshness of ‘wrong view’ – whether our own, or that of another – we are gifted the opportunity to wipe another corner clean.

With each swipe, something new is revealed. Faith, hope, optimism formed delicately between those mottled panes of glass – reflecting the light of a new-found resilience, forged in those moments of “I don’t think you can.”

We all experience these moments, my darlings ~ in which we are seen through the haze of another’s looking glass.

And though, instinct may encourage us otherwise. Sometimes the best, and only thing we might do – is to hand them a ‘cloth’ and wish them well.

“For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro’ narrow chinks of his cavern.”

And, to my critics of this week, now past:
Does my trembling trouble you?

Good.

Because, I promise you – one day this ‘shimmy shake’ will take on the world. Can you feel it? I most certainly do.

And, to those I now consider my dearest friends:

My darlings, never-ever-ever let yourself be limited by another’s small-minded view.

Remember, it’s their window to clean – not yours.

In peace, from behind this humbled looking glass.

Be Here Now, and Be Free.

“Only this actual moment is life.” ― Thích Nhất Hạnh

There’s a Buddhist story which speaks to false perception.

The story is about a young couple who lived during the seventeenth century. When the war broke out, the young man was called into service – leaving his pregnant wife to support the home all alone.

The young man fought for over 3 years, until he was finally allowed to come home.

On the day of his return, the young wife stood with their young son at the entrance of the village. She couldn’t wait to see her husband, and cried with such joy when the two were finally reunited.

“This is your son,” she said softly. “It is through his eyes, that I have met with you each day.”

After they returned home, the young woman left for market – leaving the young man alone for the first time with his son.

The father tried desperately to persuade the young boy to call him ‘father’, but – with every effort, the little one refused.

“No, you are not my daddy.” the little one protested. “My daddy is another man who comes here every evening. Mommy talks with him for a long time, and she cries with him, too. Every time my Mommy sits down, he sits down also. And, every time she lies down, he lies down, as well.”

All of the young man’s happiness dissipated in that moment. Once full of joy, he was now – a block of ice.

When his wife returned home, he refused to acknowledge her. and so, she sat silently in her kitchen preparing their offering.

When she had finished, the young man placed the offering at the shrine. He then unrolled a mat, lit the incense, and bowed before his ancestors to announce his safe return.

And then, without saying a word – he rolled up the mat up, before his dear wife had the opportunity to kneel upon the earth. You see, he had become so convinced that his wife was unfaithful – that he felt her unworthy to kneel before their sacred ancestors.

For three days, neither said a word to the other – allowing their suffering to grow until it became too great a burden to bear.

By the fourth day, the woman’s pain was unbearable – and she threw herself into the river, and drowned.

That night, the young man stayed with the child – and, when it was dark, he leaned in to light a gas lamp.

“There,” the young boy shouted, pointing to a shadow against the wall. “There is my daddy. Every night my daddy comes, and mommy talks with him for hours and hours. And, sometimes she cries – and, daddy cries, too.”

The truth was suddenly all too clear. The man who had visited every evening, was actually the woman’s shadow. She had fashioned this story to quell the little boy’s longing.

“That’s your daddy,” she had once said to him. “And, you can say ‘I love you, daddy’ any time you wish.”

We’ve all suffered the burden of our own misconception. Someone says or does something at work, and suddenly a ‘new story’ unfolds.

But, how often do we pause to ask ourselves – are we so certain of this truth before us?

The Buddha taught that there is a ‘river of perception’ within us all; that we might learn to sit at the banks, and contemplate how we really feel.

Are we so very certain of our perceptions?

My darlings, we have all fallen victim to these stories within. Perhaps, moving forward we might allow this question to serve as our ‘mindfulness bell.’

Remember, “only this actual moment is life.”

The Dharma of Letting Go.

[blockquote source=”C. JoyBell C.”]“The day I understood everything, was the day I stopped trying to figure everything out. The day I knew peace was the day I let everything go.” [/blockquote]

“Regard all thoughts as dreams…” I remember the first time I heard those words. I was attending a lecture on mindfulness, and the speaker was beloved Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron.

At first, I thought I understood her message – of course, never knowing, it would take many years for the lesson to settle in. Such is the case when our perceptions are challenged – the greater the impact, the longer it may take to digest.

Likewise, there are just some things which can not ever be fully described by words…

The warmth of community, the lightness of discovery…or even, that sense of openness shared only through the bonds of unconditional love.

To offer words in the place of true heart sentiment, would seem such a shame….and, horribly limiting.

But, so often we view words as the easier way around – quick labels, intended to be universally understood, and translatable regardless of any circumstances.

The tree is green, the sky is blue…and, that manager at work? Oh, well, you know, don’t you?

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” ― Anton Chekhov

See….not so easy, is it?

You see, somewhere between the absence of understanding and our realization of truth – an uncomfortable energy begins to take hold, and causing us to grasp for the security of the familiar.

The label is the quick fix, the going deeper – is food for the soul.

[blockquote source=”Jelaluddin Rumi”]

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

[/blockquote]

It’s within these moments, that I have found the greatest opportunity for opening. But, we must learn to acknowledge our thoughts with the grace and loving-kindness they deserve.

I know this must sound silly, but I literally say ‘hello’ to any emotions which may arise – and greeting them as a beloved visitor, carrying the gift of a new found understanding.

“Hello, ‘agitated because your expectations weren’t met'”

“And, how are you today ‘feeling small at the hands of someone else’s criticism’?”

In doing so, I’m able to loosen my grip – on all that is perceived, in place of the divine.

And, my dears, it’s never too late change our ways – why not let today be your day of letting go? You might find that life isn’t as ‘fixed’ as you may think.

Namaste, my dears ~ and remember, that no matter the mistakes or misteps…you are always loved in this moment, now.