Mindfulness

What We Allow.

When I first became ill, I worried about the impact to others. Specifically, those closest to me – how might their lives be changed?

Doctor visit after doctor visit offered little, if any, insight. I was constantly falling over, grabbing walls for balance – waiting for the dizziness to subside. My heart rate plunged to dangerously low levels further exacerbating an already unsteady base. In time, constant and severe pain coursed throughout my body. In its wake, a stiffness that became my iron cage.

Initially, I was diagnosed with ‘severe dysautonomia’ – a broad term used to describe a failure of the autonomic nervous system.
Though when my tremors were finally noted, they realized it was something more. “I think you have Parkinson’s,” he said, laying his hand upon mine.

I don’t know how I made it home, driving through such tear-filled eyes. Looking back, it’s still a massive blur. I was angry, upset – and terribly fearful.

I’d always been that ‘friend out front’ – the one to be relied on no matter how grave the circumstance. I spent many long nights tending to their wounds.

But, now?

How could I possibly become their burden?

And, so I withdrew. At first, a few days to help reconcile my thoughts. But then those days turned weeks, and those weeks to months. I went to every single office visit, surgical procedure and test on my own. The weight was heavy, though it was mine to bare.

It wasn’t until a dear friend pulled me aside to say, “I get to decide how I love you.”

Though mine was a unique experience, there is commonality to all. Because each of us at some point in our lives has made this very decision on behalf of another. In the struggle to understand the complexity of these new emotions, we cower and slink away. Though, perhaps worst of all – we pin our ‘unworthiness’ onto the heart of another.

Alan Cohen once wrote that those who love us are never fooled by the ‘mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself.’ Rather, they are further emboldened; driven by the image of our wholeness even in our most broken form. They want to help, they want to be of service.

More so,

They want to experience the joy in knowing they’ve lessened our pain.

So you see, the question isn’t so much ‘how could we burden’ but rather, ‘how could we dare to steal their joy away.’

In this new light, we find acceptance. And the once ‘so very big’, becomes our resolve.

Remember, we get what we give -but also, what we allow.

In peace…

Namaste ❤

When Only the Sound of the Heart Remains.

There was an old clock which sat on the mantelpiece of my grandparent’s former home. ‘Dong, dong, dong…’ it would announce as the rest of the house stood still.

And, it didn’t matter the time of day nor the current ‘goings on’ – when that clock chimed, there was a definitive moment of rest; a time to reflect, perhaps.

I remember feeling such awe in the depths of its reassuring tones; as if no matter could dissuade the spirit within.

Even as the clock began to age, and its once pristine finish curled revealing the truth of its years – still that chime carried magnificently through.

Though the clock had been gone now for many years, I can still hear her ring – her legacy; just as clear as once before. Here simply to remind…

That when the world becomes so suddenly quiet, only the sound of our heart remains.

In peace…

Namaste ❤

What You Think Will Grow.

“Don’t give it energy,” my mother would often say.

She was referring to our inclination to fixate; to attach the heaviness of thought to what should be a transient condition.

“Remember, what you think will grow…” And, she was right.

Like watering the seeds, our attention yields. Whether grief, sadness, mistrust – or, optimism and faith…the decision is always ours.

Which do we choose to invite? And which do we ask to stay?

Though the inclination may be strong, even a hurricane knows its rest. Let that be the test. Let patience be your focal point.

And, when you discover that these stories no longer bind – you’ll find the freedom you’ve sought for so very long.

What you think will grow…

In peace, my loves…

Namaste ❤

The Christmas Bread.

I remember once when I was a little girl. It was Christmas, and my mother was busy baking bread in the kitchen. Desperate to keep me from underfoot, she broke off a piece of the dough, smiled and said, “Now go make something nice.”

I’d watched her bend and knead the mixture, adding dried berries and candied nuts with each quarter turn. Then into the oven to carry a nutmeg infused joy throughout the house.

I wanted my bread to be ‘perfect’, just like hers. Though, in those days at just barely 4-years-old I thought perfection meant MORE. So, I squirreled away spending the next half hour furiously patting and rolling – until I emerged with a lint-encrusted ball now the color of smoked ash (the fireplace bricks being the only logical choice for a flat rolling surface).

I watched her eyes intently as I handed the culinary ‘masterpiece’ back for baking. She never missed a beat, only smiling. “Now THIS will be delicious,” she said.

It didn’t improve with cooking, I assure you, my loves. The overworking caused the bread to fall, and the flecks of fireplace certainly didn’t help. Though, the process did prove to be an earlier lesson in temperance and balance.

You see…

‘More’, isn’t always ‘better’ – particularly, in matters of heart. And only the hand that lessens its grip can know the fullness of all things.

In peace…

Namaste ❤

A Patch of Cerulean Blue.

A saint once left his home to travel to a nearby city. When he returned he said to his disciples, “This place…you can’t imagine. Streets paved in gold and the skies lighter than a hummingbird’s wings.” His disciples, eager to know this glory, raced to understand. When they returned they muttered with disgust, “Ugh – the filth, the dust, the waning light.”

To each, the same – though, vastly different. Perception can create bouquets from wilted flowers, likewise – it can shift the weight of the world onto our heels. Everything, in fact, is exactly as it seems – and this life, precisely what we believe. The stars shine no brighter from the opposite ends of opposite ends of this earth.

No matter how well we live our life, there is always a ‘calibration’ which occurs – an adjustment of mind to suit the ‘reality’, a chiming of perception within the winds.

But are we missing the oft sought rustling of leaves, against a cerulean blue? Welcoming each day as an awakening, and every breath – a miracle.

You are just one thing, my loves – but you are everything, just the same.

In peace…

Namaste ❤️

The Lesson of Interbeing.

My loves, this morning I’m inspired through the words of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi who writes;

“Let what comes come. Let what goes go. Find out what remains.”

In these words, we find the roots of awareness; an immeasurable spiritual power formed through the process of self inquiry.

And, speaking directly to our attachments in this life – to people, to things, to perceptions of being.

The books will caution our clinging, reminding us of the inherent suffering manifested through expectation, need and desire. We assume the guidance to be absolute; attaching to nothing for fear of pain.

But there is a joy within the transient nature of things. The fading warmth of a ceramic mug, a snowflake to the top of a tongue — we cherish that which is immediately ‘there’, sharing this space of interbeing.

Perhaps this is the lesson, my loves? That all things must eventually pass. Opening our hearts to a divine awareness, a sense of oneness with all that remains.

In peace, my loves…

Namaste ❤️

 

The Gift Within Your Grasp.

My darlings, this morning I find inspiration through the words of author, John Welwood who shares,

“Forget about enlightenment.
Sit down wherever you are
And listen to the wind singing in your veins.
Feel the love, the longing, and the fear in your bones.
Open your heart to who you are, right now,
Not who you would like to be.
Not the saint you’re striving to become.
But the being right here before you, inside you, around you.
All of you is holy.
You’re already more and less
Than whatever you can know.
Breathe out, touch in, let go.”

I was so moved, and likewise compelled to share – as I know many of the questions I receive daily are related to an aspect of feeling overwhelmed.

When we are overwhelmed, we lose touch with the inherent flow of peace within. That rhythmic pulse keeping pace with the transience of season and breeze and butterfly wings.

We chase enlightenment like a squirrel through the trees, never fully realizing the gift within our grasp.

“All of you is holy.
You’re already more and less
Than whatever you can know.
Breathe out, touch in, let go.”

In peace, my loves…

Namaste ❤️

The Heart of Connection.

I was thinking a bit about communication this morning; specifically, how fast-paced it’s become.

It seems, at times, we’re on somewhat of an ‘autopilot’ – with fingers tapping keyboards faster than light.

Even the little ones are suffering the habit. Did you know that even homework assignments have become digitized?

Sometimes I wonder if we’ve perhaps lost a bit? Forgetting that communication is a sharing of the hearts greatest essence.

In his book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, author Marshall Rosenberg, writes, “We learn early to cut ourselves off from what’s going on within ourselves.”

We readily assign fault, rather than seeking the true source.

When we feel disconnected, so many emotions can take hold. At one end of the spectrum, anger – while at the other, self doubt.

Though, if only we took a moment to pause, to reflect. To look into another’s eyes to say, “It’s ok, I am here for you, my darling.”

That it’s the heart which helps to manifest our words. If we allow it to do so, that is.

My darlings, let the heart speak of connections this day; and, let your energy be that of love.

Namaste ❤️

God Bless This Open Road.

“Happiness, not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour.” ― Walt Whitman

Oh, my goodness – yes.

That there is just this moment now; one soul-filling breath connecting us to our bliss.

And yet, how often is it missed?

“Allons! to that which is endless as it was beginningless,” writes author, Walt Whitman. “You must not stay sleeping and dallying there in the house…Out of the dark confinement! out from behind the screen! It is useless to protest.”

Indeed, that we might lose our hearts to yesterday would serve our greatest mistake.

So, set your sites on today, my loves – launch yourself on every wave‘  and find your ‘eternity’ within each and every single moment.

I promise, it’s well worth the journey.

“Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose.

Henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good-fortune,
Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing,
Done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms,
Strong and content I travel the open road…

From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines,
Going where I list, my own master total and absolute,
Listening to others, considering well what they say,
Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,

Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me.
I inhale great draughts of space,
The east and the west are mine, and the north and the south are mine.

I am larger, better than I thought,
I did not know I held so much goodness…

Allons! the inducements shall be greater,
We will sail pathless and wild seas,
We will go where winds blow, waves dash, and the Yankee clipper speeds by under full sail.”

A Wish From the Wintering Moon.

“The moon follows us everywhere, you know.”

It was something my father had once shared with me. We had been driving for hours, and I was growing sad that we might miss a special event. “No matter where you are,” he smiled. “the moon is always there.”

My father has such a way of restoring faith; of bringing the ‘quickly slipping away’ nearer once again. I’ve often found such comfort in these words. Particularly, in those much larger moments when I’ve felt a bit distanced from self.

Many a sonnet has been written of the moon; her charms captured through delicate extensions of poetry, of art, and of music. Oh, and hasn’t she shared her graces through the years?

And, leaving us to wonder…what else has the capacity to shift an entire ocean from shore to shore?

“I’ve tried the new moon tilted in the air,” writes poet, Robert Frost. “Above a hazy tree-and-farmhouse cluster, as you might try a jewel in your hair…I’ve pulled it from a crate of crooked trees, and brought it over glossy water, greater. And dropped it in, and seen the image wallow, the color run, all sorts of wonder follow.”

Speak of the moon and once wearied eyes are once again filled with wonderment.

Though, perhaps the greatest gift which she shares – is the manner in which she unites us all.

One common thread forged upon the wishes of a single wandering soul.