Family

On Being Mom.

I remember once when I was just a little girl, my father had purchased a piece of land deep within the woods, and far away from all the noise of the city.

As he chatted to the workers about the various planned changes, I took my first big long gaze into our new life together.

To any other observer, the property was a mess of construction—chaotic, and with no end in sight. But I never saw the piles of planks and nails—I only saw the hope in my parent’s eyes.

And through their eyes, I began to see this world.

The house was tucked far away, surrounded by a density of brush that drew me in with each new day. Much like the moon against the tide, my heart was similarly drawn; adventure was inescapable.

I would spend all day scrambling through these woods, flipping over every branch and rock—digging my hands knuckle deep into that cold, wet earth. By the time the sun began to set, my fingers were a patchwork of black and blue.

These were my woods, and this was my home–and I felt always safest here.

Nighttime was inevitably a chore for my dear mother, who patiently scrubbed away the details of my day—taking in the stories of a ‘fearless explorer’. She never seemed to mind my excitement, smiling softly and nodding in only that way a mother knows best.

And no matter the worries of her own very long day, she always seemed to listen intently as she combed the knots from my waist long hair.

You see, my Mother – she understood me. She understood my excitement at seeing this world as entirely new, and never once dared to discourage.

There is nothing greater in this world or this life, than a mother who’ll encourage you to run and to play…to scrape up those knees, and leave yet another gaping hole in your pants.

And the best mothers will never complain about the trail of muddy footprints leading in from the outside and across her newly washed floor. Or, that dirt embedded so deeply under your nails.

Why?

Because she knows a little scrubbing is a small price to pay for a ‘grand new adventure.’

A mother’s love is like nothing else in this world; knowing precisely how to reconstruct a heart shattered to dust.

Because, mothers are comprised of all the universe’s love. They are the foundation to our world, and a continual source of unconditional love.

These days, I’m all grown up and a mother myself—but I shall never forget the lessons my mother shared with me.

“Live each day, fully and completely.

Smile, in the sunshine and in the rain.

Love with all and everything you’ve got.

And, don’t worry so much about getting dirt stuck between your toes.”

The world is filled with magic for those who are willing to see. And to each, the ‘fearless explorer’ within – adventure awaits.

So go on, get out there and squeeze the ‘carpe diem’ out of this day.

In peace, my loves – and, Happy Mother’s Day…

Namaste ❤️

A Soldier’s Christmas Wish.

I saw a young man buying groceries tonight.

He stood so proudly in his military dress, with shoulders bearing the weight of all those who served before him. As I watched, I couldn’t help but think of my own Army soldier now so very far from home.

It’s a difficult proposition when our little ones leave us; and harder still, when we know they’ll be in harm’s way.

I raised my son to be a fearless explorer, with only one wish – that he would always follow his heart. Tonight, his heart leads him to ‘do the right thing’, to stand for those who are otherwise unable to stand for themselves.

He is giving what I consider to be the ultimate gift. That is, a selfless love in service of others.

I broke down as I watched this young Army soldier. I suppose he must have heard my sniffling from behind, as – before he left…he turned, hugged me and said,

“Merry Christmas, Mom – don’t worry, he’ll be home soon.”

Sometimes Goodbye is Just the Beginning.

“How did the rose ever open its heart
And give to this world all of its beauty?
It felt the encouragement of light against its being,
Otherwise we all remain too frightened.” – Hafiz

I said goodbye to my son today – which was, by far, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. He’s leaving for his first year-long ‘next great adventure,’ traveling to a destination nearly half-way around this world.

My goodness, it’s never easy to say goodbye – now, is it? As I look to the sitting table, I see the roses he left behind – perfectly formed, with the most magnificent of blooms.

I’m reminded of the first bouquet he ever carried home for me. It was Mother’s Day, 1997 – and, I had just picked him up from day care.

“Mommy, look – I got for you!!” he shouted, breathless with delight. And, in his hands – a scrunched up, wet paper towel.

To the casual observer, it was just a matted up mess – but, to this Mom, there was no better feeling in this world.

And, now he’s grown – my goodness, how quickly the years have passed. I remember carrying him around in my ‘baby backpack’ – we were inseparable, he and I. No matter where I traveled, he was (quite literally) never too far behind.

But now is the day, I must learn to let him fly; having faith in my new place, within his heart.

We always wish the rose to bloom, and yet – when it does, we fear it will soon be ‘gone.’ But, the flower always returns in another form, my loves ~ and offering us all the greatest blessings of this earth.

As I watch my darling son turn to wave from the door, I can’t help but to appreciate the depth of this one simple truth.

“I’m so very proud of you sweetheart; thank you for helping me to find my purpose.

Safe travels, and please remember your promise, okay? As, I very much need you back ‘here’ someday.

Never too far, my darling ~ no further than my humble heart to yours.

Dream big, live with purpose, and never, ever be afraid to fly.

Love, Mommy”

As Ani Pema might say, we don’t ever know how this story will end; sometimes ‘goodbye’ is just the beginning.

A Letter to My Son.

 “Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.” ~  J.K. Rowling

My dearest, most darling son…

Today is the day, my dear…the one in which we have waited for all of our lives – and the one in which I worried over for so many sleepless nights.

It’s not always easy being a parent, but luckily…I had the blessing of children so rich in spirit and honor, that I dare say my job was made much easier. You were my single gift from all these heavens.

And, today I shall watch you walk alone onto this, your next path – and wondering, have I shared all the lessons and in just the right way?

As you were growing up, I worried over every scraped knee and every tumble and fall. And those late nights when the fever just wouldn’t break? I sat alone in the rocking chair next to your crib ~ hoping I might find the secret to becoming the best Mommy ever.

And, oh I made so many mistakes ~ and there were always things that I had wished we might do, but circumstances left us only with those wishes yet in our hearts. And those are the wishes that helped us as we found our way through – forming a bond, like none this earth might ever have known.

My dear, you’ll find in life the difficulties will make you stronger – that there is an indomitable strength of spirit that comes only by way of heart that won’t give in.

This is our blessing, now isn’t it? That in the end, and no matter what life’s challenge – my dear, we decide what fate might bring. And, we decide the life we shall live…

Every minute, and every moment – is ours to determine. And even in the face of the most dire of circumstances ~ my dear, know always that the heart shall find its way.

And, all of those moments spent wondering if you’ll ever be quite good enough? You’ll find there shall always be some bright spirit to help you find the courage.

My dear, thank you for the gift of your bright spirit ~ and for helping a young frightened girl become a great Mom.

I love you… to the moon and back… and if there should ever come a moment when you feel alone, and not so certain of self… you’ll need only to look to the stars, as my light will be shining down on you from above.

My dear, I am so very proud of you ~ for all that you are, and all that you’ve yet to become. And, may each new day be filled with the adventure you so very much have earned.

Love,

Mommy

A Letter to My Daughter on Her Birthday.

To my darling daughter,

My goodness, it’s been 17 years since I first welcomed you into this world. Though, at times, I’ve felt I’ve known you all all my life…in the gentle movement of the swaying trees, the winds soft hushing across the leaves…upon the arc of a hummingbird’s wings.

You were always just right there, waiting for me.

Oh, and how your eyes would shine – lilac blue, like the twilight sky. “Starlight,” your Grandmother would say.

But, there was something more, I’m sure. Optimism, yes…that’s what it was. And, the self-surety that one little heart could indeed make a difference in an often weary world.

And, did you know when we first brought you home the whole entire neighborhood came out just to greet you?

Not to be outdone by your Grandfather, of course – who pushed aside all those wayward wanderers to exclaim, “Oh, will you just look at how pretty she is!!”

I’ll never forget the look in his eyes – so full of pride. In that moment, I watched as those shadows of war faded to the hope of this brand new life.

At just a few hours old, you certainly learned to leave your mark on this world. Indelible, with grand flourishes – and never shrinking from the light.

I always felt my role as a Mother was to help you find your way through. Oh, but little did I know, at the time – that you were the Universe’s gift to me.

Through your eyes, I saw the world in vibrant shades of peacock blue, and fire engine red.

Through your infectious giggle, I learned the world wasn’t so serious, after all.

Through your heart, I learned what it really meant to be free.

We’ve been through much, my dear – from scraped up knees, through the onset of this disease. I swear, at times I feel like I’m the luckiest Mom in the world.

But, now you’re nearly grown, my darling. And, soon, you’ll be leaving the comforts of this ‘nest.’ Traveling to each of the farthest corners of this earth, I pray – to seize that proverbial tiger by the tail.

Make grand, glorious mistakes, my dear – and, don’t ever look back. The path is ahead, I assure you, and waiting for the softness of your every step.

Let your heart draw you into the spaciousness of your dreams. Do not be deceived – this earthbound form is merely a vessel, and never the ‘anchor’ we perceive.

Take risks, my darling – knowing that “half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty.”

Remember to ‘set your life on fire’ and seek out only those ‘who’ll fan your flames.’

You are a divine light, my darling – and, the truest gift my soul has ever known.

And, on this day of your birth – remember, it’s only through the heart that we learn to touch the sky.

Happy Birthday, my darling….Mommy loves you.

 

A Little Something My Mother Once Shared with Me.

[blockquote source=”Washington Irving”]”A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness and cause peace to return to our hearts.”[/blockquote]

I remember when I was just a little girl, my father had purchased this piece of land deep in the woods, and far away from all the noise of the city. As he chatted on to the workers about this change and that, I took my first big long gaze of our whole new world together.

To any other observer, the property was a mess of construction—chaotic, and with no end in sight. But I never saw the piles of planks, and nails, and trash—I only saw the hope in my parent’s eyes. And through their eyes, I began to see this world.

The house was tucked far away in the woods, surrounded by many acres upon acres of thickly wooded land that drew me in with each new day—much like the moon draws the tide when it begins to rise against the night sky.

A small creek ran directly through the property, inviting me with its bubbles and burbles to follow it through to this day’s newest adventure.

These were my woods and the woods were my home.

I would often spend all day scrambling about these woods, flipping over each and every rock along that creek bed—digging my hands knuckle deep into that cold earth until my fingers were nearly black and blue, and the sun began to set.

Nighttime was always a chore for my dear mother, who spent the evening scrubbing away the details of my day—taking in all of my stories, and doing her best to calm my heart for just a bit. She never seemed to mind my excitement, smiling softly and nodding in only that way a mother knows best how to do.

And no matter what the worries of her own very long day, she always seemed to listen intently as she combed the knots from my waist long hair, while I sipped at the warm cocoa she heated just for me.

My Mom, she understood me and my amazement at this most incredible world. She understood each time I rattled on about this, or about that, that it was because I was seeing things each day in a brand new way.

There is nothing greater in this world or this life, than a mother who’ll encourage you to run and to play…to scrape up those knees, leaving yet another gaping hole in your pants.

And the best mothers will never complain about the trail of muddy footprints leading in from the outside and across her newly washed floor. And that dirt embedded so deeply under your nails? She knows this dirt will be easily scrubbed away and that scrubbing is a small price to pay for a grand new adventure.

Mothers always seem to know just what to say, when your heart crashes suddenly into a million pieces onto life’s floor.

“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.“

Because, mothers are just kind of built with that much love. They are the foundation to our world, and a constant source of unconditional love.

These days, I’m all grown up and a mother myself—but I shall never forget the lessons my mother shared with me.

“Live each day, fully and completely. Smile, in the sunshine and in the rain. Love with all and everything you’ve got.

The world is filled with a most brilliant magic and for only those who are willing to see.

And, to those who can see—adventure awaits. So go on, get out there and squeeze the ‘carpe diem’ out of this day.

And, don’t worry so much about getting dirt stuck between your toes.”

Namaste and Happy Mother’s Day – to every single mother out there…and all that dirt they’ve helped to scrub.
 

 

What We Leave Behind.

[blockquote source=”Shannon L. Alder”]“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.”[/blockquote]

I read the most beautiful letter yesterday, representing the final words between a loving Grandfather and his cherished grandchildren.

When I read the letter, I thought immediately of the richness which has been gifted to me through these many years; words that have helped to shape my heart and define my experience as a loving human.

Like great trees, our legacy forms its roots deep into the souls of all human beings -and these scattered leaves, a reminder of all that we have shared.

Our legacy begins right here, my dears.

Graciously reprinted through the kindness of Huffington Post.

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Grandfather’s Brilliant Final Letter To His Grandkids Offers Life Lessons For The Rest Of Us

The Huffington Post  | by  Ann Brenoff

When James K. Flanagan passed away on September 3, 2012, he left behind something absolutely amazing. Months before, he wrote a wise letter of advice to his five grandchildren, unbeknownst to them. With permission of his daughter, Rachel Creighton, the letter he left behind was posted online. This is that letter.

Even if you didn’t know James, his words are worth reading… they’re life lessons for all of us.

Dear Ryan, Conor, Brendan, Charlie, and Mary Catherine,

My wise and thoughtful daughter Rachel urged me to write down some advice for you, the important things that I have learned about life. I am beginning this on 8 April 2012, the eve of my 72nd birthday.

1. Each one of you is a wonderful gift of God both to your family and to all the world. Remember it always, especially when the cold winds of doubt and discouragement fall upon your life.

2. Be not afraid . . . of anyone or of anything when it comes to living your life most fully. Pursue your hopes and your dreams no matter how difficult or “different” they may seem to others. Far too many people don’t do what they want or should do because of what they imagine others may think or say. Remember, if they don’t bring you chicken soup when you’re sick or stand by you when you’re in trouble, they don’t matter. Avoid those sour-souled pessimists who listen to your dreams then say, “Yeah, but what if . . .” The heck with “what if. . .” Do it! The worst thing in life is to look back and say: “I would have; I could have; I should have.” Take risks, make mistakes.

3. Everyone in the world is just an ordinary person. Some people may wear fancy hats or have big titles or (temporarily) have power and want you to think they are above the rest. Don’t believe them. They have the same doubts, fears, and hopes; they eat, drink, sleep, and fart like everyone else. Question authority always but be wise and careful about the way you do it.

4. Make a Life List of all those things you want to do: travel to places; learn a skill; master a language; meet someone special. Make it long and do some things from it every year. Don’t say “I’ll do it tomorrow” (or next month or next year). That is the surest way to fail to do something. There is no tomorrow, and there is no “right” time to begin something except now.

5. Practice the Irish proverb: Moi an olge agus tiocfaidh sí “Praise the child and she will flourish.”

6. Be kind and go out of your way to help people — especially the weak, the fearful, and children. Everyone is carrying a special sorrow, and they need our compassion.

7. Don’t join the military or any organization that trains you to kill. War is evil. All wars are started by old men who force or fool young men to hate and to kill each other. The old men survive, and, just as they started the war with pen and paper, they end it the same way. So many good and innocent people die. If wars are so good and noble, why aren’t those leaders who start wars right up there fighting?

8. Read books, as many as you can. They are a wonderful source of delight, wisdom, and inspiration. They need no batteries or connections, and they can go anywhere.

9. Be truthful.

10. Travel: always but especially when you are young. Don’t wait until you have “enough” money or until everything is “just right.” That never happens. Get your passport today.

11. Pick your job or profession because you love to do it. Sure, there will be some things hard about it, but a job must be a joy. Beware of taking a job for money alone — it will cripple your soul.

12. Don’t yell. It never works, and it hurts both yourself and others. Every time I have yelled, I have failed.

13. Always keep promises to children.Don’t say “we’ll see” when you mean “no.” Children expect the truth; give it to them with love and kindness.

14. Never tell anyone you love them when you don’t.

15. Live in harmony with Nature: go into the outdoors, woods, mountains, sea, desert. It’s important for your soul.

16. Visit Ireland. It’s where the soul of our family was born — especially the West: Roscommon, Clare, and Kerry.

17. Hug people you love. Tell them how much they mean to you now; don’t wait until it’s too late.

18. Be grateful. There is an Irish saying: “This is a day in our lives, and it will not come again.” Live every day with this in mind.

What If I Forget How to Write/

Sometimes I have the silliest of fears.

It started quite innocently with a monster under the bed—but as I grew older these thoughts grew bigger as well.

Today, I was worried that I might someday forget forever how to write.

I mean, what if tomorrow all of this inspiration was gone? And, what if these words just stopped flowing along?

I suppose it’s a panic that every writer feels from time to time—and every once and again that one day this magnificent gift of inspiration might just suddenly and forever disappear.

It reminded me of the very first time I brought my newborn son home from the hospital. He had such a rough first few days living in this brand new world—locked away in the farthest corner of a dimly lit Neonatal ICU. And I, a new mother, and not yet knowing what to do, spent every single moment, of every waking hour, slipping my fingers through that tangled mess of wires just to simply touch his hand.

And, when that day finally came, when I was able to bring my baby home—I was overwhelmed with gratitude at this gift of a most precious human life—that I literally spent every single night of those first few months sleeping with my fingers resting gently on his tiny little chest.

You see, I was so terrified that something might happen to snatch this gift away that I barely slept more than a few hours, if at all, with each passing evening.

It was the very first time I had faced the reality of impermanence—the impermanence of life and life’s most special moments.

Writing has become such a joy for me—that in some ways, I feel a bit like a new mother all over again…carefully protecting this amazing gift that has been so graciously shared with me.

And, when inspiration stops me dead in my tracks, urging me desperately to copy down these few short words before the magic of this thought is forever lost?

That’s when I find myself clinging intensely to that one thing I feel might soon be gone.

Perhaps, that is why I am here tonight with my fingers resting gently on inspiration’s chest?

And, as I look over to the photo of my son standing proudly next to me, my heart is immediately calmed and my fears simply melt away. Because in him, I see all of the love and life’s lessons I’ve shared with him along this way, radiating brilliantly for all of this world to see. And in his eyes, I see a bit of my own spirit reflecting back to me.

Everywhere we turn we are faced with impermanence…but in some way, our spirit lingers on.

I just hope that mine may linger on through my words.

A Richness That Surpasses All Expectations.

[blockquote source=”Thích Nhất Hạnh”]People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.[/blockquote]

I was watching a young boy with his Father, the other day. Both heads buried curiously beneath the hood of their family’s automobile, in earnest effort to sort out it’s troubles.

“I’m helping,” the little one squealed with delight – his toothless grin giving way to the pride that was flourishing within.

I always love watching little ones with their parents, particularly when they’re ‘at that age’ when their spirit is most impressionable. And yet, so often I look outwards from my window – and see, these little hearts wandering without direction.

When I was a little girl, I spent every moment at the side of my mother. And, waited up so many nights alone to hear my Father’s car pull into the driveway. We had such a close family growing up, with Uncles visiting every Sunday to ensure that no family member went without.

My Mother always made certain to leave an extra place setting at the table, and in somewhat of a much greater gesture that no visitor should ever leave our home hungry. Truth be told, I was somewhat shocked to learn that not all family dinners end sorting leftovers into grocery bags.

My parents took such great care of our young spirits; teaching us those things in life that often the schools are missing. It was through their selflessness that I learned, what it really meant to be a ‘compassionate human.’

It was through their hearts, that I found my purpose – and through their actions, that I found the means. I guess you could say, that what I am today is merely a reflection of all that they shared.

And so, whenever I am able to witness these most beautiful moments,  I find my heart bursting with a gratitude born so very long ago…

You see, as busy as they were trying so very hard to make ends meet…still, they recognized what mattered most of all…

That in order to raise a compassionate heart, you must be willing to give of yourself.

I mean, how else can we ensure that our legacy is carried forward?And, onward through those little hearts that so very much need our wisdom?

My dears, it is this gift of our time…of our awareness that is the most precious gift of all; and far surpassing any of those fancy shoes or video games that are splashed all over the market.

And yet, we lock it down like a dog with a bone – fearful that others may soon devour it.

How foolish it is to think that in giving our time, that we’ll end up the lesser for it…

Rather, my dears, it’s when we give so freely of heart -that we discover a richness that surpasses all expectations.

And, reflected in the toothless grins of our most beautiful children…

The Desolation of Our Distractedness.

[blockquote source=”Norton Juster”]”Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.”[/blockquote]

I had the most beautiful conversation with my daughter the other day, and prompted by her wonderings of why it’s such an awful thing…this matter of being alone.

“Don’t get me wrong, I really like people. But I also like the time that is spent, with just me.”

There are moments in a parent’s life, when we are simply awestruck by the glimmer of magnificence within our children. They are but subtle reflections of any number of instances, where two spirits have become forever intertwined. And this, was my very special moment.

I smiled proudly, as I sipped my tea – graced by the awareness within her few simple words.

“I don’t get it, they’re just fooling themselves,” she said.

And, as I looked around this bustling restaurant – I knew exactly what  it was that she meant.

For you see, surrounding us at every table – was a couple or family, completely mesmerized by a 4-inch video screen.

Were they really spending time together, or rather spending time alone together?

How very sad to think that within the context of this one very precious human life, and this miracle of awareness – that we spend such a vast majority of our time, flinging angry birdies over fences.

It just doesn’t make any sense, now does it? I mean, is it such a terrible existence that we must become so forever lost in illusion?

Is it such a terrible existence, that we must find ways to become lost in these illusions? And yet, we wonder why there is so much spiritual unsettledness.

And, so my dears – I guess the lesson here, is to perhaps listen to our children.To set aside these distractions in life, and hold on instead to the heart right in front of you.

I promise, you’ll never be disappointed – and the winning prize, will be that of a most cherished memory. And, those memories aren’t ever counted against your mobile data plan.

So, my dears – next time you’re out and about family or friends, ask yourself…

Isn’t it time we began making those smaller changes, that will in time bring us closer as humans?

I believe the answer is most certainly, ‘yes.’