I remember the first time I met him. He smiled at me from across the way – shy, at first, and ever-mindful of my boundaries.

I don’t know why this moment stands out from the rest, as – throughout the course of these many years, we’ve certainly engaged in far more friendship-deepening experiences. I suppose, perhaps – because, I just didn’t believe it.

I didn’t believe that I was worthy of a friend.

That was 2008, and since then – our friendship has gone through a series of rigorous ‘tests’; tests intended to pierce through the covering of our previous hurt, and cobble together a new sort of existence.

Oh, and didn’t I run away, at first…

I told myself stories, created reasons – though, ultimately, he never strayed. I just couldn’t shake these two paths diverging as one. He showed me things I wasn’t prepared to see, and encouraged me to examine my worth from another’s point of view. In doing so, I finally realized – in order to enjoy the fullness of friendship, I first had to befriend myself.

That was a difficult lesson, I must say.

Why? Because, we have to turn inward – to listen and look deeply. To examine those aspects of self that trigger fear, unrest, unsettledness. And we have to do so through the eyes of compassion; so that we may, in turn, develop the capacity to be a good friend to ourselves and to others.

In order to know friendship, we must first abandon this illusion of self.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us,” shares Henri Nouwen “we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.”

Indeed, a true friend will stand resolute in the shadows of our own uncertainty and doubt; and will offer encouragement in the face of all else. They guide us to our ‘edges’, and back again. In doing so, they demonstrate the true meaning of love.

“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion,” he writes. “who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

In other words, a true friend helps us become more of what we already are…

Though, may not yet have realized.

Now, when I count the blessings of friendship, I view from an entirely different scale.

In peace, my loves ~ just a little something to consider on this day.

Namaste ❤️