[blockquote source=”Sharon Salzberg”]“Whatever takes us to our edge, to our outer limits, leads us to the heart of life’s mystery, and there we find faith.”[/blockquote]

When I first began to experience health issues, I remember thinking to myself, “Oh, just what am I going to do?”

I had just settled into a pattern of existence that seemed so comfortable and perfectly paced. On my wall, and still hanging there to this day, was a handwritten note to myself,

“Over the next year I will….”

It was a wish list of sorts, carefully annotated with each of my wildest dreams…and, posted where I might see it each day. I had hoped in writing it that it might help me to secure my focus and intention. Oh, but I had no idea at the time that the universe was planning something else.

There is great emotion that follows in the wake of change – most derived from a sense of losing control.

In my own aftermath, I felt great fear and sadness – that I might in time become a lesser version of myself.

And, I suffered many sleepless nights – thinking about the potential manifestations of this change. What would I do? How would I provide? With each racing thought, my mind branched into a hundred more. Like an overbearing neighbor intruding upon a restful night – fear had quickly become my unwanted guest.

Until one day, I realized – I wasn’t so much afraid of the change, I was afraid of the fear of losing myself.

And, when I surrendered to the natural flow of things – that’s when a beautiful new universe opened up.

But more importantly, I found my voice to this world.

I still have that handwritten note posted to my wall, though it’s been updated to say,

“On this day, Tara, you will smile.”