Tag: meditation

How to Find Awareness (Without Losing Your Way).

When I first learned to meditate I was taught to sit upright, holding onto my thoughts as the pattern of breath finally emerged. I recall the formality of the process, how the energy of the room seemed so unnatural and forboding. As if the slightest mistep would somehow void the value of the experience. Is there any wonder why so many of us failed?

If only the instructions had been a bit more forgiving, many of the students (myself included) may have stayed – encouraged to stay the course along an unfamiliar road. Instead, we crafted excuses from the pitch of our overwhelmedness as fear imposed its hefty barrier.

It wasn’t until many years later that I discovered that there was, indeed, another way. One that invited the engagement of all our senses, enlisted their help in this process of discovery.

‘Just sit for a while and listen to your breath.  Try not to let the thoughts intrude.’ My instructor was a portly old gentleman with smiling eyes and a sense of wonderment that could fill a room. Even in the midst of the most unfavorable of circumstances, he seemed so very centered and unaffected. He knew these moments to be passing, at best. That we must welcome their presence with thoughtful courage.

In The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh explores the aperture of meditative awareness – inviting us to explore its depths. I’d like to share his teachings here:

‘Someone might well ask: is relaxation then the only goal of meditation? In fact the goal of meditation goes much deeper than that. While relaxation is the necessary point of departure, once one has realized relaxation, it is possible to realize a tranquil heart and clear mind. To realize a tranquil heart and clear mind is to have gone far along the path of meditation.

There is a temptation to look upon them, or at least some of them, as an enemy force which is trying to disturb the concentration and understanding of your mind. But, in fact, when we are angry, we ourselves are anger. When we are happy, we ourselves are happiness. When we have certain thoughts, we are those thoughts. We are both the guard and the visitor at the same time. We are both the mind and the observer of the mind. Therefore, chasing away or dwelling on any thought isn’t the important thing. The important thing is to be aware of the thought. ‘

In this short passage, he not only simplifies – he redefines the interelationship between ‘life as we know it’ and ‘life at its fullest’. When we are happy, we are happiness; and, when we are peaceful – we, ourselves, are peace. In this way, our awareness is continuously revealed.

In peace, my sweet friends…

Namaste ❣

The Calm Within Our Storm.

I watched a compelling video this weekend; group of scientists were conducting an experiment to determine the power of mind over the perception of circumstance.

In one room, participants donned a virtual reality headset as they sat upon a specially constructed movable sled. The video played was that of an extreme roller coaster ride, emulating a high speed chase through bends and twists.

Thoughled movements were slight, still the participants screamed; their minds unable to distinguish the suggestion from true reality. Their hypotheses, if proven, would demonstrate an unexpected effect: that of the minds role in anticipating events.

Call it dread, fear – or, more simply expectation; we cannot deny having at one point felt the same. The experience has yet to unfold, yet the sense is as sharp, nonetheless. In fact, we spend so much time locked in this anticipatory phase that we risk losing our connection to the ‘absolute present’. Is this perhaps the source of our unsettledness? A malady born of habitual reaction.

Even when offered insight into the experiment, participants maintained the same neurophysiological response – reacting in advance of each twist and turn.
Though, in the second phase of the experiment there was only one minor shift – participants were asked to focus on their breathing. To consciously slow where they felt a quickening; to allow the breath to serve as their ‘solid ground’.

With just this change alone, the results were visible and astonishing. In instances where participants had previously tensed, they were ultimately observed leaning in. Measurements indicated a marked release of physical tension.

Is it possible that these habits of mind might be so easily redefined? Retained to hold the essence of calm over any suggestion of fear.

There’s truly so much we cannot possibly know; including the manner and mechanism of our mind’s inner workings and the ever-present calm within our storm.

A little something to consider, my friends…

Namaste ❣️

The Promise of Now.

Someone once asked me why I ‘bothered to practice.’ He was speaking to the progression of my neurological disease and the potential for finding peace within it.

“Look at you, sitting there all crumpled up,” he said. “I can tell you’re in pain. Why bother?”

And, he was right. I was in pain – chronic, debilitating pain. So much so, that I’d literally lost sleep. I had difficulties tending to my daily chores. There were bills piling up, and dishes to be washed. Even the gardens which once shared such insurmountable joy, were now in a terrible state of disrepair.

And forget about those simple movements – walking, driving, getting up from a chair – all of which were now a labor of love. Accomplished not because I wanted, rather – because others needed me more.

To him, I must have looked the fool – sitting there all alone on my meditation pillow. Hoping to accomplish what? More suffering, more physical pain?

Oh, and wasn’t I angry – at first. I mean, who on earth would dare to judge the manner in which I navigated my fear? This was my path, my pain – my journey.

And, then…

Against the droning hum of the yoga studio fans, my anger lifted. My thoughts, suddenly clearer and less rigid.

Perhaps, it was the sound that drew me in – thunka, thunk, thunk. Much like the heart, its constancy reassured. For a split second, I wasn’t consumed by the outcome.

I found my ‘gap’ – that space between the chaos of thinking mind and the restful bliss of eternal peace.

Somewhere within me, the words find their roots.

“Why bother?” I asked, smiling in return. “For this promise of now; nothing more, nothing less.”

After all, if we can’t find happiness along this path of peace then where else do we expect to find it?

A little something to consider, my loves…

Namaste ❤

The Gift Within Your Grasp.

My darlings, this morning I find inspiration through the words of author, John Welwood who shares,

“Forget about enlightenment.
Sit down wherever you are
And listen to the wind singing in your veins.
Feel the love, the longing, and the fear in your bones.
Open your heart to who you are, right now,
Not who you would like to be.
Not the saint you’re striving to become.
But the being right here before you, inside you, around you.
All of you is holy.
You’re already more and less
Than whatever you can know.
Breathe out, touch in, let go.”

I was so moved, and likewise compelled to share – as I know many of the questions I receive daily are related to an aspect of feeling overwhelmed.

When we are overwhelmed, we lose touch with the inherent flow of peace within. That rhythmic pulse keeping pace with the transience of season and breeze and butterfly wings.

We chase enlightenment like a squirrel through the trees, never fully realizing the gift within our grasp.

“All of you is holy.
You’re already more and less
Than whatever you can know.
Breathe out, touch in, let go.”

In peace, my loves…

Namaste ❤️

This Path of Peace.

Years ago, I remember first beginning my mindfulness practice. I’d been sitting for what felt to be an eternity, shifting uncomfortably under the weight of my own story.

I’d had a ‘bad day’ – one of many in a long string. I was unsettled, discouraged, and – desperately in ‘need of a change.’ My body ached as I sat in a forced meditative pose; the normally soothing ambiance of the room disrupted by the incessant droning of a portable air conditioning unit.

“I can’t get comfortable,” I complained to my teacher.

“That’s because you’re focusing on all the wrong things,” he winked.

I felt immediately dismissed; angry at the brevity of his response given what I felt to be the complexity of my issue. I wanted answers, not roundabout riddles. I wanted someone to take my hand and guide me effortlessly through.

It took me many years before I finally began to understand the fullness of his statement. He was right, you know – I was focusing outward, when I should have been looking within. My unsettledness wasn’t owing to the droning of fans, rather – it was related to the noise within.

“I go among trees and sit still.” writes Wendell Berry. “All my stirring becomes quiet around me like circles on water. ”

For the first time in my life, I was able release those aspects of self which were pulling me down. I realized stillness as its own entity, a ‘visitor’ to that which I knew as ‘home.’

“Then what is afraid of me comes
and lives a while in my sight.
What it fears in me leaves me,
and the fear of me leaves it.
It sings, and I hear its song.”

And, in that room – I found, I no longer shifted.

Instead, I found my peace within the song of shared breath.

Spoiler alert – it was in there all along.

Namaste ❤️

From the Outside, Looking In.

I watched a young man this morning from my window. He was trying desperately to load packages into his car. The ‘offending bundle’? A loosely tied, plum colored yoga mat.

The young man cursed, as the make-shift Velcro band caught on a piece of metal extending from the car’s back trunk. In spite of his efforts (which were quite comical, I assure you) – the mat, with what seemed to be a ‘mind of its own’, unfurled to a puddle below.

He must have heard me giggling from the open window. “Can you believe I’m going to meditation class?” he sighed. “I’m trying to learn how to slow down.”

“Yes,” I smiled. “Darling, I know. But, can’t you see the ironic? You need to slow down, but you’re in such a hurry to get there.”

He dropped his head, and began to laugh. “My name’s Austin,” he said. “You got any more of that coffee?”

We sat for a bit, as he sipped and shared a recent story of his woes. “I feel lost,” he said. “Restless, like this life isn’t the one I’m supposed to be living.”

My darlings, why do we often feel so separate from self? We view things in such a limited, binary scale -convinced that it either is, or it isn’t.

But, that’s not all there is to it, my loves. In this life, there is so much more.

Our minds are so quick to categorize, that we fail to see the possibility in these seemingly limited circumstances.

This young man, for example, had already resigned himself to a destiny — without first considering the prospect of ‘that which can not yet be seen.’

And, we want it right now – don’t we? This peace of mind, these further off fleeting life dreams – we’re in such a hurry, that we fail to live this ‘right now’ fully.

Is it any wonder why we often feel our lives are left unfulfilled? We search outside of ourselves for an answer that is always within. We seek contentment through false means – preferring a lecture over a good hard look within.

“What makes you happiest?” I asked the young man.

“This, just this.” he smiled, cradling the hot mug between his hands as he watched the steam rise in playful dance.

“Then, what’s keeping you away, my dearest?”

Sometimes the path to simplicity is one of the more simpler ones; a hot mug, a talk with a stranger, now friend – my darlings, isn’t that the path to fulfillment?

A little something to consider on this day ~

Namaste ❤

He Is Rich Who Owns the Day.

I watched my pup race to the open window this morning.

He’d heard the clamoring of passersby and was eager to know their ‘business’ here.

And, though my instinct was to pull him away – experience teaching that’s he’s not generally a ‘morning pup’ – today, I simply sat back and observed.

“Good morning, little one,” a voice called from below. “I see you’re already up and ready for adventure today.”

And, with that his puppy nose gave a hearty snortle-sniff, as if the energy of boundlessness could be infused upon the morning breeze.

“He is rich who owns the day,” shared poet, Ralph Waldo Emerson. “and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.”

Do you see it, my loves? Sometimes we are reminded through the most seemingly innocuous of things – such as a puppy at a window, and a passerby offering his greeting.

It’s all right there, every single day. Open your eyes to it, my dearest darlings – and take in this day without worry.

For…

“This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”

Much love and blessings of joy, my loves. And, on this day, I bow humbly to you.

Namaste ❤️

“Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be.”

[blockquote source=”Christopher Pointdexter”]”Never could I breathe love if I did not first learn to inhale a little bit of chaos.” [/blockquote]

There is a saying in Buddhist teachings, “though you may be capable of great things, remember always – that life consists within the small.”

There is often a density to our struggles, a tendency to amplify the true nature of our experience. To attach our ‘story lines’, to editorialize – instead of opening to the center point of our awareness.

Certainly, it’s human nature to withdraw when we feel at risk. But, how much running is really to be done when the threat is mostly in our head?

More importantly, how do we – in those microscopic, split-second moments of reactivity – discern between that which is perceived and real?

Insight Meditation Center teacher, and author Tara Brach offers,

“It’s hard to hang out with the truth of what we’re feeling. We may sincerely intend to pause and be mindful whenever a crisis arises or whenever we feel stuck and confused, but our conditioning to react, escape, or become possessed by emotion is very strong.”

Which begs the question, how do we continue to ‘carry our Zen’ – when all of our senses urge us to run away?

Breathe…“Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be.”

And though, it might seem impossible, at best – remember, that this breath is the ‘stepping point’ in opening to our awareness.

With each breath, comes the opportunity to pause…to reflect; to breathe deep the laughter, the joys, the regret; to open to our sorrows and our splendor, as well; to take it all in, before we react.

My darlings, it is this very breath that becomes our soul connection.

And, in this tiny, split second fraction of a moment – we find our passageway to awareness.

Namaste, my most beautiful friends…remember, to let go and just simply breathe.

“Because, That Bird’s Got My Wings” – A Buddhist View on Limitlessness.

[blockquote source=”Rumi”]”The very center of your heart is where life begins. The most beautiful place on earth.”[/blockquote]

Perhaps one of my favorite teachings, is that which was once shared by American Buddhist nun, Pema Chödron – and, in which she tells the story of Jarvis Jay Masters, an inmate currently sentenced to death row at Sen Quentin prison.

Jarvis first entered the prison in 1981, convicted on the charge of armed robbery. At just 19-years-old, Jarvis soon learned the realities of ‘confinement.’ He was later moved to death row in 1990, convicted for his involvement in the murder of a prison guard – a crime many say, he did not commit.

“There is a teaching,” Ani Pema begins, “which says that behind all hardening and tightening and rigidity of the heart, there’s always fear. But if you touch fear, behind fear there is a soft spot. And if you touch that soft spot, you find the vast blue sky.”

She was speaking to the lesson of vulnerability – something which ‘imprisons’ many of us, everyday. I’ve often wondered over these subtleties; that spaciousness exists as part of our physical and mental world. That is to say, that which we feel inside can have a direct correlation to our experience outside.

Likewise, the opposite may be true – as young Jarvis soon realized in the confines of his 6 by 9 foot cell.

He felt trapped by the restrictions of his physical space – like a caged animal, forever pacing.

Until one day, when he experienced a life altering change of perspective.

“When I fell on the exercise yard and twisted my wrist,” he says, “they brought me ice. At first I was angry. No X-ray? No Ace bandage? They just gave me ice and took me back to my cell. I hadn’t seen ice for years and years. I took a cube from the plastic bag and for some reason, I touched it to my forehead. Then to one side and to the other side of my face. I rubbed it around my eyes, really slow, and cold, trying to remember ice. What was it? This feeling? My hand touched the ice to the skin of my arm, all on its own. I lost my memory—no ice, nothing. That was a trip!”

And, in this single precious moment, he transcended all limits.

This is the ineffable power of the mind, that our entire existence may change in the span of one choice, one decision.

As the story is told, one day there was a seagull playing out in the yard at San Quentin. It had been raining, and the young bird was deriving much pleasure from paddling about in the puddle. The inmates watched as he stretched his wings gleefully, turning his face towards the sun – and, shaking off the remnants of the fallen rain.

Just then, an inmate picked up a stone and took aim at the bird. Jarvis immediately blocked the man, which escalated the man’s aggression and caused an argument to ensue.

I mean, who the heck did Jarvis think he was? And why did he care so much about some blankety-blank bird?

The others circled around the two men, just waiting for a fight.

“Why’d you do that?” the inmate challenged.

To which Jarvis so eloquently replied, “I did that because that bird’s got my wings.”

Just think about that, if you will. That we may experience the ever-expansive vastness of this life, through something as simple as a momentary slip from our attachments.

When we “connect with the absolute, vast quality of their own minds” – my darlings, there are no ‘walls’ which may keep us contained.

When we’re able to step outside of the confines of mind, my darlings – that is where true limitlessness begins.

Learning to Appreciate the Finer Things.

[blockquote source=”Pema Chödrön”]“Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it.”[/blockquote]

I was asked the other day, “What is the right way to meditate?”

And though, there are many schools of thought on just this very topic – and, probably many more hundreds of pages written – I’ve always gravitated towards a far less complicated approach;

That is to just simply be.

Try not to litter this path with the expectations and formalities of what must be.  Remember, we need not begin as ‘experts’ on a journey that is intended to awaken.

Instead, why not learn to sit a while, relax…and simply breathe?

The ‘right way’ will be revealed to you – let the stillness speak. And, open your heart to all those things which have been kept hidden from your ‘view’.

My darlings, it’s high time we learned to appreciate these finer ‘textures’ of our being.

Now, there’s a little food for thought on this, as of yet, still sleepy morning.

Be gentle with your delicate souls, my dears ~ and let the light that is you shine through this world.

And, for all those beautiful parents out there, remember:

It’s never too early to start our little one’s on their journey.

In peace, love…and equanimity,

Much love to you, my dearest friends.