Tag: loving-kindness

A Blessing of Hope Upon this Breaking of Day.

The snow fell silently to the earth last night, a blessing of evening upon this breaking of day. And lingering to branches as faith upon will.

Hope shall find us here, my loves…in these earliest of hours. Where skepticism has yet to find its ‘gripping point’, and these whispers of self find no cause to complain.

Our soul accepting this mystery of journey, if only for a moment. Transfixed by the temporary dropping of illusion.

In these moments, there is a natural shifting of boundaries. As we realize, we are not ‘as one’, we are ‘ONE’ after all.

Each, with the glorious flames of compassion within our heart; fueled by the prospect of peace unto all.

My darlings, today the news has shared a somber course as members of our one human family face unimaginable intolerance. In these hours, we must remember the greater cause – that of an equanimity and loving-kindness that knows no bounds.

I pray for all those whose hearts are in pain. Know that I am here for you, unwavering and with open arms.

In peace…

Namaste ❤️

Learning to Love In Spite of Our Pain.

“Among the men and women, the multitude,
I perceive one picking me out by secret and divine signs,
Acknowledging none else—not parent, wife, husband, brother, child,
any nearer than I am;
Some are baffled—But that one is not—that one knows me.” – Walt Whitman

I had the occasion yesterday to face one of my most outspoken critics.

Yes, my darlings – believe it or not, I experience them, too. And though, I’m generally well liked amongst my team, it seems – not everyone can be pleased.

Indeed, not everyone can be pleased. Likewise, some beliefs may be formed and founded on that which is completely unrelated to you.

And, since when is it our place upon this earth to right the opinion of others? To do so, would be an endlessly impossible task.

“It’s not what you look at that matters,” shared author, Henry David Thoreau, “it’s what you see.”

We spend so much of our time locked inside of judgement’s snare. Whether by way of self-criticism, or our discernment of others – our minds can’t help but to tumble inward.

But, what is it that we’re truly seeing?

Do we see ourselves through the eyes of compassion? Or, via the harsh veil of another person’s criticism?

More so, has it become such a deeply ingrained response – that, we’re often unaware of our movement towards it? These nearly imperceptible fluctuations of heart, at times seem so sadly unnoticed – as ‘common’ as the air we breathe.

Have we become, perhaps, so inadvertently ‘numb’ to the energy of loving-kindness?

I certainly don’t think so.

As for every instance of surly snipping, there’s a moment of compassion to replace it.

And, that’s the true test – now, isn’t it. It’s not how we behave while others are watching – rather, how we conduct ourselves when nothing is to be gained.

You see, one day those who’ve caused us the most unbearable pain – will be in a position of ‘needing’ love in return.

Love them anyway.

And,

Love them in spite of your pain.

THAT is what makes all the difference, my friends; and, THAT is what changes this world.

Love is really all and everything you’ll ever need – and, our purpose here is to help others  realize.

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Turning Compassion Inward.

“I hold my face in my two hands.
No, I am not crying.
I hold my face in my two hands
to keep the loneliness warm –
two hands protecting,
two hands nourishing,
two hands preventing
my soul from leaving me
in anger.”

Such a lovely passage from Zen Master, Thich Nhat Hanh – one which speaks to the energy of our suffering, and the ‘need’ to turn our compassion inward.

Though, habit may at times encourage us otherwise.

To maintain a loving heart, even when the world appears to be crumbling like dust at our feet – my darlings, this is what brings us peace.

And, rooted deeply within this essence of love – is a foundation of unconditional understanding.

In this way, we can begin to nourish our compassion.

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Which Do You Choose?

“Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.
Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.
Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.
Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.” – Chinese Proverb

Such wonderful words, and how relevant for today – that we might remember the impact of thought, and the capacity of heart to transcend ‘limitation’.

More specifically, knowing that what we share out into this world – in time, becomes our destiny.

But, what does that really mean? How does thinking manifest to action?

Every day we issue our thoughts out into the universe – sharing the most intimate details of our apprehension, fear, sorrow, joy, and love.

“Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box; they tumble blindly as they make their way across the Universe.”

Casting ripples into waves – and shining brightly, ‘like a million suns’.

Our thoughts create action – they excite, they urge, they compel, they motivate. They offer comfort, courage, optimism and peace. They can bring respite to a restless heart. And, even urge our brothers to finally lay down their arms.

While negative thoughts may introduce and atmosphere of judgement; those which are positive, create a space for compassion.

Having said that – my darlings, which do you choose?

With These Two Tender Hands.

I believe it was Henri Nouwen who once said, “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.”

Oh, my goodness – now, isn’t that the truth?

As I sit here, I can think to at least a half dozen times where a friendly hand has literally lifted me from the floor.

There is something which happens in those crumbly, heart-wrenching moments – something which transcend that which even the most awakened of hearts may, at first, understand.

It is a restoration of faith, of promise – a laying of hope against the new path ahead. And within that touch, a subtle warmth – with the capacity to shift even the most seemingly impossible of demands.

“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion,” he writes. “who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

And, what a blessed revelation this morning to realize – I have so many tender hands waiting for me right here.

When I first started writing, I thought, “If I could be a source of hope for just one person, then I will have succeeded.”

I never realized the community that might grow, from a simple wish of compassion and healing.

Indeed, with these two tender hands…

We can dig wells, and build houses – offering care to those in need. We can devise the means to bring comfort to the ‘wounded’, to alleviate the suffering of our fellow man.

With these two hands…

We can write books or create music or fashion brilliant works of art – inspiring hope to even the most impoverished of souls.

With these two hands, my dearest darlings…

We might create a space for loving-kindness, and one day change this world.

With just these two tender hands… <3

In the Company of Friends.

The Buddha once gave a beautiful teaching on the value of unconditional love; a love born and free from all attachment, one that is cultivated by the willingness to bear the suffering of all living beings.

“As a mother would risk her life
to protect her child, her only child,
even so should one cultivate a limitless heart
with regard to all beings.”

It is this foundation of Metta – or lovingkindness, that allows us to finally break through to a continual state of peace.

“Whatever beings there may be,” he taught “weak or strong, without exception, long, large, middling, short, subtle, blatant, seen & unseen, near & far, born & seeking birth: May all beings be happy at heart.”

And, so on this day, my dearest friends – I wish you the limitlessness of a loving heart.

Namaste.

p.s. – My darlings, do you know just how much better it is to read in the company of friends?

The Heart’s Greatest Journey.

“This moment holds no judgement.” My darlings, do you know what this means?

To release ourselves from the trappings of past hurt, and relinquish all ties to expectation.

Herein lies our freedom.

And, it is never more than one soul-filling pause away. A moment of contemplation, of careful consideration – to embrace that which leads us to joy. In our letting go, we create the space for acceptance…a resting spot for the spirit to grow.

Though sadly, it is human nature to become attached to things. We crave the security of knowing over the relief of surrender.

But, in our holding on we become further tethered to that which has already gone.

“In the end these things matter most” shared the Buddha “How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?”

This is the heart’s greatest journey, my darlings. A path, untraveled, and just waiting to be revealed.

The Treasure of Your Own Loving Heart.

My darlings, do you know the story of the taming of the mad elephant, Nalagiri?

In the Cullavaga of the Pali cannon, the taming of Nalagiri is explained as one of many attempts made by Devadatta, to kill his cousin, the Buddha. It is a story driven by the passion of resentment.

But, perhaps more profoundly, it is the story of how a even a blood-thirsty rage can be transformed by the energy of loving-kindness.

As the story is told, Devadatta was expected to become the future leader of the monks. However, to his surprise, the Buddha treated him no differently than anyone else. To the Buddha, Devadatta sat equally amongst all living beings – there were ties of loyalty in the space of equanimity.

This made Devadatta so angry, that he conspired against the Buddha – dispatching the mad elephant, Nalagiri, to cause him  harm. On the morning of the malicious deed, Devadatta gave Nalagiri alcohol to further incite her rage. He then unleashed her madness into a crowd of unsuspecting villagers.

“Everyone saw the elephant approaching, swaying madly from one side of the road to the other, slamming his weight into market stalls and house-fronts.”

“Run for your lives,” they shouted, “Mad elephant.”

But, to everyone’s surprise, the Buddha sat undisturbed by the panic. Instead, he radiated the boundless heart of compassion towards the charging Nalagiri.

“Ambho, Nalagiri,” the Buddha said, “Come here, my friend.”

It was within this very moment that the tragedy of Nalagiri’s life began to unfold. Her days as a young calf playing in the rivers and fields; the time spent wandering through the forest trees with her Mother; the crisp coolness of water on a hot summer’s day. And sadly, as well, her eventual capture by the king’s elephant keepers – who forced the young Nalagiri to become a slayer of men. In that moment, she felt the overwhelming desperation of her loneliness – the torment by her captors, the sadness of her abuse.

“Like two waves meeting, the force of the Buddha’s loving-kindness collided with the moving mass of the raging elephant. Nalagiri felt it like a wave breaking against her brow.”

“Ambho, Nalagiri,” he said. “You are safe now, my friend.”

And, with that, the elephant bowed humbly before him. She was finally ‘freed’ from the chains that bound her.

“Your new name, Nalagiri,” said the Buddha, “is Dhanapalako, Guardian of the Treasure. And the treasure, my friend, is your own loving heart.”

My darlings, we all face these ‘charging elephants’ in our day. But, with boundless heart – the energy of loving-kindness will always prevail.

Whatever we wish for others, we wish for ourselves.

It is perhaps the greatest lesson we might ever learn.

The Purpose in Our Practice.

Someone once asked of me, “Tara, what is the goal of your practice?”

Initially, I had thought it such an odd question – as, I hadn’t yet considered my ‘practice purpose.’ In hindsight, I had been wandering somewhat aimlessly through my meditation sessions – hoping simply for the soft comfort of relief.

“But, relief from what?” I thought to myself. In spite of life’s challenges, I’ve always felt my life to be blessed – with beautiful children, cherished memories, and an abundance of love surrounding.

And yet, I still felt the sharp pain of unsettledness.

As human beings, we want love more than anything else. We want to feel love, and know its existence. We want to bask in its radiance; to laze in the warmth of it’s light; to wrap its tenderness, like a shawl.

Simply speaking, we want to love, and be loved in return.

Is this such an impossible task?

“We may have a habit,” offers Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, “of looking for happiness elsewhere than in the here and the now. To go home to the present moment, to take care of oneself, to get in touch with the wonders of life that are really available—that is already love. Love is to be kind to yourself, to be compassionate to yourself, to generate images of joy, and to look at everyone with eyes of equanimity and nondiscrimination.”

My darlings, this is the goal of my practice – to realize the very depths of our interconnectedness. To embrace with the fullness of an open heart; to respond with the energy of lovingkindness; to see this world with equanimity and patience. This is the foundation of love.

And, when we love – if we love truly – we can begin to see the truth in our ‘reality.’

That the cause of our pain, is this veil of separation. We think we’re alone, but, in fact, the opposite is true. For, in looking closer you’ll find – the love has never really left us.

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When Kindness Heals.

[blockquote source=”Gibran Khalil Gibran”]“Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.”[/blockquote]
I was quite moved by a story I read recently, about a small tribe in the southernmost portion of Africa. It was a reflection on, of all things, their ‘judicial’ system – in which loving-kindness was used in the place of criticism.

For the Babemba tribe, they believe that all humans enter this world born of a single source – and, each desiring equally the spiritual solace of happiness, peace and love.

Likewise, they recognize that as imperfect humans – there will be ‘mistakes’ to be made along the way.

‘Mistakes’…I really don’t like that word, by the way. As, it offers a sense that nothing can be done in those moments when we’ve lost our way.

And, in my experience – the greatest opportunity for spiritual growth generally occurs in the moments when the world seems to be crashing down.

However, in our society, mistakes are often fodder for harsh criticism and judgement – with media outlets gleefully churning out page after page of misteps.

And, often leaving one’s hope invariably crushed.

But, for the Bahbemba tribe – there is a much different response. They understand the power of community and compassion, viewing even the most egregious of errors as an opportunity for healing.

For the Bahbemba, when a tribal member acts unjustly, he/she is placed at the center of the village, alone while the activities of the village cease. One by one, the villages gather around – forming a large circle, symbolic of their unity.

What happens next is quite remarkable ~ and a testimony of humanity’s responsibility to all other beings.

One by one, villagers of all ages take their turn in speaking – they speak to every single act of kindness ever shown, and to serve as a reminder that there is always a greater light shining within.

The ceremony continues for several days, until no positive words are left unspoken.

It is only then, that the circle is broken – and, with joyous celebration all are welcomed ‘home.’

My goodness, can you imagine the transformations that may begin ~ when we approach those who may have wronged us, with the same love we have for ourselves?

Ironically, the ‘need’ for such a ceremony is quite rare – as the energy of appreciation is infused in all that they do.

And, when the cornerstone of humanity rests upon this energy of love ~ my dears, there is simply nothing on this world that we can’t do.

Much love, and many blessings on this beautiful day…

This story is originally from the book, Contact, The First Four Minutes by Leonard Sunin.

Photo by Jessica Hilltout.