Tag: listening

In Order to Listen.

I think one of the most powerful things we can do for another is to listen. To hear with open heart, extending a space of humility and non-judgement – within which, our connection grows.

Yet, all too often we feel compelled to fill the gap of awkward pause. We presume to know, though – what, if anything, can be gleaned in those few short moments? Do we understand their basis of context? And, more importantly – are we creating a space which invites an integrity of reflection?

To be present for another is perhaps our greatest gift.  Though it is often lost in the confluence of words, ambitious and without regret.

There was a time when I would rush to offer my service, assured of the value of my own experience. Now, of course I take my time – offering my heart as well as my humility. In doing so, I not hear – I learn.

And, isn’t that what’s truly needed? To be heard, yes – but to likewise engage? To be present in this sacred space of connection.

A little something to consider, my friends –

In peace,

Namaste ❣

A Lesson in Listening.

There is an aspect of teaching, a ‘balance’ – if you will. Between sharing the excitement of a heart now awakened and waiting for listening ear.

We want all to know the expansiveness of freedom; to understand the true nature of an unimpeded soul. Yet, the moment we lean forward to offer ‘opinion’ – we’re met with bristling disregard.

Perhaps, in saying ‘you’re doing it all wrong’ – we’re missing that there might be another way?

Not all paths are so clearly defined. Likewise, there are many paths which lead to ‘home’.

As teachers, we must be willing to engage the energy of ‘always learning’ – to allow this discovery of awakening to unfold.

“One of the things you will find,” shares Ram Dass. “Is the ability to appreciate what is, as it is, in equanimity and compassion, and love that isn’t conditional.”

You see, when I answer ‘the gratitude is always mine’ – what I mean is, ‘thank you, for helping my heart to grow.’

We are teachers, yes. But, learners just as well. And, our greatest gift is our capacity to listen.

In peace, my loves…

Namaste ❤️

Zen and the Art of Listening.

[blockquote source=”Mark Nepo”]”“The exquisite risk is a doorway that lets us experience the extraordinary in the ordinary.”[/blockquote]

In his book, The Exquisite Risk, Mark Nepo tells the story of a dear friend who began to slowly lose her sense of hearing. With each conversation she found herself straining to hear all the words, until one day – she began to ‘listen’ in an entirely new way. Leaning in, she could see the subtle changes in body movement and gesture, the delightful warmth of those ‘smiling eyes’ – and, more importantly, she began to see the ‘face behind the face.’

Suddenly, a whole new world revealed itself to her – and, through the guise, and blessing, of this ‘disability.’

Ironically, it was through the loss of her senses that she ultimately gained awareness.

There’s an important question to be asked here, that is – how do we remain open to our pain, “to make our way through the drama of our bleeding to the stripping of our will, through the tensions of our suffering to the humility of surrender where we might learn the ordinary art of living at the pace of what is real.”

In other words, how do we begin to listen to that which truly matters? To slow down, and experience this life at the pace at which it was intended?

“We don’t have to go far to know this,” Nepo observes. “For our suffering quickly breaks down what we think we know and have to say into a more authentic and humble taste of being and feeling.”

Whether through illness or injury or the myriad of life’s circumstances—inevitably, we will face our greatest challenge yet:

To struggle through complacency or risk being new.

“For being human, we remember and forget. We stray and return, fall down and get up, and cling and let go, again and again. But it is this straying and returning that makes life interesting, this clinging and letting go—damned as it is—that exercises the heart.” – Mark Nepo

Indeed, it is only through this exercise of heart—that we may begin awaken that which has been with us all along; that is, the true spirit of the bodhisattva warrior.

And, did you know that when you’re still enough you can finally hear your heart’s truest whisper?

As We Gather Around This Table.

“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

When I was a little girl, there was an older woman who would frequently visit our home.

My mother, always the gracious hostess, would set a veritable ‘feast’ upon the table—freshly brewed coffee; baskets of Italian bread (the ‘good stuff’, as my father would say); bowls filled with homemade pasta, and platters piled high with home-baked treats.

And, when our guest would arrive—my mother would spend hours with them at the table. Leaning in, always, with great care, as they grumbled over their ‘dreadful misfortunes.’

I never looked forward to these visits, as – every week, it was always the same. Our table was set for this honored guest, who would spend every moment complaining.

“Why do you put out so much?” my father would ask.

To which my mother would reply, “Because, she needs it more.”

At the time, I thought she was talking about the food. But, as I’ve grown older, I’ve learned—there’s a gift that extends far beyond a simple table setting.

It is the only gift that human kindness can bring.

You see, this woman who really had nothing in this world—left filled with a most cherished memory.

And that seemed to make it all worth it.

 

Learning to Trust That One True Voice Within.

Brother Thich Nhat Hanh once offered, that when first encountering our mindfulness practice – we might discover a million unanswered questions.

Questions such as, “How do I maintain this calmness of center, when the world seems to be crumbling into chaos?”

Or even more directly, “How do I continue to find love for myself, when the absence of love is so palpable?”

We all have these life questions, my loves – questions that seem to take us farther from ‘home.’ Instinctively, we avoid following that ‘trail’ – convinced, that any further exploration would lead to further burden.

Instead of looking more deeply within, we seek refuge in areas external to self.

“We have the habit of always looking outside of ourselves, thinking we can get wisdom and compassion from another person or the Buddha or his teachings (Dharma) or our community (Sangha).

But you are the Buddha, you are the Dharma, you are the Sangha.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

My darlings, before looking elsewhere for these foundations of ‘heart’, we must first bring our awareness back ‘home.’

Home is where all of our answers exist. Where even the most complex of puzzles are effortlessly solved.

“Listen, listen.
This wonderful sound brings me back to my true self.”

It is within this silence, that our one true voice may finally be heard.

The trick is, not only learning to listen – but, to trust in it.

I promise you, it’s there for a reason.

The Art of Listening.

“Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help to relieve the suffering of others. You can call it compassionate listening. You listen with only one purpose – to help him or her empty his heart.”- Thích Nhất Hạnh

Listening seems such an inherent skill. From birth, even before we’ve yet mastered speech – we are leaning in to the sounds of our mother’s voice.

Instinctively, we listen.

A car passes, and whoosh – we are suddenly aware. Something in our soul is triggered, to pay attention…to pause…to consider.

I’ve often felt listening to be the cornerstone of compassion – requiring the fullest expression of our presence to truly understand what the other person is saying.

To hear their heart, even when our own threatens to seize the way. After all, wasn’t it Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh who once said,

“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers…Listen with compassion, and be there with your whole being to give the other person relief.”

My darlings, the moment we realize that we are ‘pulling away’ – we must return to this first seed of compassion.

To listen, wholeheartedly – and, with the energy of loving kindness. To set aside our deepest fears, and open to the suffering of others.

This is what it means to truly listen.

The Art of Listening Completely.

[blockquote source=”Stephen R. Covey”]“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”[/blockquote]

When Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh was first interviewed following the attacks on the World Trade Center –  he was asked what he might say to those responsible.

His answer was simple, yet keenly profound, “I would listen compassionately and deeply to understand their suffering.”

I’ve always envisioned this to be the cornerstone of compassion, that we may listen intently even when presented with overwhelming adversity.

To listen beyond ego and hold true the bonds of humanity’s spirit.

But, too often we get lost on this path of the endlessly trivial.

“Who do they think they are?”

or,

“What the heck did he/she mean by that?”

We project intention from the threads of preconceived notion; and hold dogmatically through till the bitter end.

And, in that end we lose our greatest opportunity ~ to engage in a more compassionate view towards self.

Communication requires a steely sort of courage, one forged only through our willingness to stand fearlessly exposed. Oh, and how very uncomfortable that can make us feel.

[blockquote source=”Thich Nhat Hanh”]”The practice of deep listening should be directed towards oneself first. If you don’t know how to listen to your own suffering, it will be difficult to listen to the suffering of another person or another group of people.”[/blockquote]

Indeed, it is only through an understanding of our own hearts – that we are better able to engage the hearts of others.

Our suffering, though painful, my dears ~ is the means, to a more compassionate end.

But first, we must learn to disengage old habits – specifically, where our knee-jerk reaction displaces the greater need for understanding.

Such is the case, when we feel attacked. Our immediate response may be to say, “Something must be done” Though, in doing so we lose touch with the true heart of communication.

Take a step back, and we realize that violence only creates more violence; and harsh words or actions leave no room for love to grow.

And, it’s a choice, my dears ~ in every single moment of your day. To live deliberately in the service of compassion, or, to stand frozen in the waters of intention.

[blockquote source=”Thich Nhat Hanh”]”Happiness and enlightenment are living things and they can grow. It is possible to feed them every day. If you don’t feed your enlightenment, your enlightenment will die. If you don’t feed your happiness, your happiness will die. If you don’t feed your love, your love will die. If you continue to feed your anger, your hatred, your fear, they will grow.”[/blockquote]

So, my dears – the question then becomes, which will you choose to grow?