[blockquote source=”Stephen R. Covey”]“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”[/blockquote]
When Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh was first interviewed following the attacks on the World Trade Center – he was asked what he might say to those responsible.
His answer was simple, yet keenly profound, “I would listen compassionately and deeply to understand their suffering.”
I’ve always envisioned this to be the cornerstone of compassion, that we may listen intently even when presented with overwhelming adversity.
To listen beyond ego and hold true the bonds of humanity’s spirit.
But, too often we get lost on this path of the endlessly trivial.
“Who do they think they are?”
or,
“What the heck did he/she mean by that?”
We project intention from the threads of preconceived notion; and hold dogmatically through till the bitter end.
And, in that end we lose our greatest opportunity ~ to engage in a more compassionate view towards self.
Communication requires a steely sort of courage, one forged only through our willingness to stand fearlessly exposed. Oh, and how very uncomfortable that can make us feel.
[blockquote source=”Thich Nhat Hanh”]”The practice of deep listening should be directed towards oneself first. If you don’t know how to listen to your own suffering, it will be difficult to listen to the suffering of another person or another group of people.”[/blockquote]
Indeed, it is only through an understanding of our own hearts – that we are better able to engage the hearts of others.
Our suffering, though painful, my dears ~ is the means, to a more compassionate end.
But first, we must learn to disengage old habits – specifically, where our knee-jerk reaction displaces the greater need for understanding.
Such is the case, when we feel attacked. Our immediate response may be to say, “Something must be done” Though, in doing so we lose touch with the true heart of communication.
Take a step back, and we realize that violence only creates more violence; and harsh words or actions leave no room for love to grow.
And, it’s a choice, my dears ~ in every single moment of your day. To live deliberately in the service of compassion, or, to stand frozen in the waters of intention.
[blockquote source=”Thich Nhat Hanh”]”Happiness and enlightenment are living things and they can grow. It is possible to feed them every day. If you don’t feed your enlightenment, your enlightenment will die. If you don’t feed your happiness, your happiness will die. If you don’t feed your love, your love will die. If you continue to feed your anger, your hatred, your fear, they will grow.”[/blockquote]
So, my dears – the question then becomes, which will you choose to grow?
