Tag: emotions

This Blessing of Choosing.

Dealing with powerful emotions can be challenging – particularly when worried over their outcome or appearance. We want to do the right thing, always. Though, to what benefit? Are we reacting to the source of our pain, hoping to reduce or eliminate. Or, are we opening our heart to understand their context and meaning?

We often restrict our choice to the immediate benefit – that which may eliminate versus what which may encourage. Though, ultimately our choices are limitless – we may choose to act on visceral, ‘larger than life’s emotions. Or, we may choose to stay the course hopeful that the end may soon define the means – with nothing left out, and no one to blame.

Author Jack Kornfield writes, that the essence of the teachings is to return to a freedom of heart that is impervious to external circumstances…to turn away from the distraction and into awareness. “When we realize that the source of disharmony and misery is ignorance and blindness,” he shares, “we open the door of wisdom and compassion.”

In the end, we can either be bound by our choices or we can choose to be enriched.

In peace, my sweet friends…

Namaste ❣

In Looking Beyond.

“In our lives we have two possibilities,” Ajahn Chah teaches. “Indulging in the world or going beyond the world.” Within this lesson we discover an inexhaustible sense of courage; one that transcends the belief that we are bound by this Earthly form..

Yes, in this human incarnation it’s inevitable that we may experience periods of pain and sorrow. And, yet – in the end we are always lifted. Suffering yields to understanding; from this, our compassion grows.

Our thoughts and emotions encourage our expression; alternately, they help to liberate us, too. We don’t break apart, we break open. Over and over and over again. Our thoughts become tempered through the humility of our experience.

Gradually, we begin to shift our view – what was once felt to be a burden, becomes a catalyst. Nothing less, and nothing more.

Wishing you peace,my sweet friends – and the courage to go beyond.

Namaste ❣️

As We May Once Again Be.

Our life is not simply a condition of our circumstances, but rather a result of the emotions we choose to greet it.

Whether upset and fear felt in the face of challenge, or the unassuming joy felt when finally achieved; we find our way through thought-filled contemplations. The mind, at times, moving faster than the gentle pacings of heart might allow.

We find a sense of security behind these maskings of emotions; a courage within the caveats of story. Though, the ease we find is not without burden. For in the rapidly changing scape of this journey, we lose a sense of fidelity between that which is ‘real’ and ‘imagined’.

Just as the day may bring about a welcomed rain following a devastating drought; so, too, follow the nature of our own emotions.

In the end, it is not so much what we experienced in our life rather how we lived within it.

In peace, my sweet friends ~

Namaste ❤️

Are You Living Your Life, or Living Your Distractions?

[blockquote source=”Pema Chödrön”]”We find we’re very threatened most by nothing happening.” [/blockquote]

I once attended a lecture on the topic of distractions.

Ironically, I had found my way there fidgeting my way out of a mindfulness lecture three doors down.

sigh…I wasn’t always the most attentive of students. It seemed my capacity to learn was continuously challenged by my ability to stay. But, for some reason this particular lecture peaked my interest.

On a placard just outside the door, was written a single word – ‘dunzie.’

“Ooh, Italian…” I thought, as I forced my way through. Isn’t it strange how easily our attention is captured?

By the title, I assumed this to be a discussion on ‘closure’ – a play on the word ‘done-zo.’ Oh, how quickly I would come to realize otherwise. Dunzie, you see, is the Tibetan word for ‘distraction’ ~ and this lecture, was intended to show our addictions to them.

As my eyes adjusted to the dimmed conference lighting, I could finally begin to make sense of my surroundings – a sea of smiling faces, resting upon their pillows.

“Oh, crap – they’re meditating,” I thought to myself. Immediately, I turned to run – but the door behind me, had already locked into place.

As silly as this may sound, the idea of being alone with my thoughts was quite literally terrifying. I had a love/hate relationship with my ‘inner dialogue’ – which, at times, was uplifting and friendly; while, at other times, it was my most brutal enemy.

“Hey, what’s the rush? Someplace better you’d rather be?” My eyes focused to a large man, lumbering towards the door.

“Oh, I must be in the wrong place…” I stammered, still looking for my great escape.

“Well, clearly you are,” he chuckled. And, with a knowing, slightly intimidating sort of wink – he handed me a pillow, “Go on now, why not stay a while.”

That was nearly 6 years ago, and probably the first time I wasn’t permitted an easy way out with my feelings.

I had just experienced the loss of one of my dearest friends, an unexpected tragedy determined to dredge through the very depths of my spirit.

And, I wasn’t ready for that.

Death is often the darkest of our shadows, carrying with it feelings of uncertainty, fear and anger. Likewise, and by the very nature of its abruptness, it forces us to come face to face with the harshness of our new reality.

Something I had been avoiding since the moment I first learned of my dear friend’s passing.

Facing the honesty of our emotions – without the benefit of veils and filters – can be an absolutely overwhelming experience.

Pema Chödrön once likened it to being stuck on a Greyhound bus for three days with someone you didn’t like. With each stop, we are gleeful that we might finally be free of them…

Though, inevitably they’re always there waiting for us back on that ‘bus.’

In many ways, our emotions can force this same sense of dread. I often laugh thinking of Ani Pema’s face pressed firmly to bus window, desperately scanning for her first opportunity to flee.

Oh, how many times I’ve been there myself.

You see, the moment something becomes unpleasant or uncomfortable, we begin our escape. And, we do so by falling into the habit of our own distractions.

Hey, anything to keep the mind from going deeper still – right?

But, this emotional slight of hand can prove to be a double-edged sword.

Whether we’re relaxing in front of a droning TV screen, or taking our minds off of things with an after work drink ~ the end result is that we’re pulling away from the very thing we must inevitably face –

The absolute truth in the very essence of our being.

Who are you, and what do you really feel?

Pull away those layers, my loves – and honestly ask yourselves –

“Am I living my life, or simply living my distractions?”

In one, you’ll find the soul-filling purpose of discovery – and in the other, you’ll find the twisted roots of regret.

The Habit of our Emotions.

[blockquote source=”His Holiness the Dalai Lama”]”The very purpose of spirituality is self-discipline. Rather than criticizing others, we should evaluate and criticize ourselves. Ask yourself, what am I doing about my anger, my attachment, my pride, my jealousy? These are the things we should check in our day to day lives.”[/blockquote]

I saw a young man leaving a store the other day. His eyes were fixed with the rage of this world, and his swagger seemed intent upon a fight.

And as he staggered along the sidewalk’s edge, I could see that something much bigger was coming. He wasn’t just looking for a fight, my dears ~ he was looking for his reason to be angry.

We’ve all been there before, now haven’t we? All this pent up emotion inside, bridled with the desperation of simply wanting to release it.

Oh, and we’re clever humans, now aren’t we? We’ll quarrel, we’ll fuss…we’ll carry on…all in the hopes of staving off the discomfort to follow. And though, we may feel our reaction to be genuine – in time, we may recognize there is always a much deeper meaning.

I watched as the young man stepped in front of the next car, slamming his hands furiously upon the hood. “What’s the matter with you, man?” he shouted as the driver sped off.

There it was – his ‘reason.’

As much as we hate to admit it, we are creatures of habit. Even our most profound emotional upsets, follow form to our past behaviors. And, just as I had predicted this young man’s outburst – so, too, have I noted the same of myself.

When we pay attention, we can see that our reactions are just as predictable as our actions.

“When we’re hurt, scared, furious, or jealous, we don’t have to figure out how to show it. Our emotional triggers are set; they go off in the same ways again and again, carrying us to the same places every time. If we have a habit of blaming, we accuse. If we have a habit of withdrawing, we disappear. If we have a habit of controlling, we threaten.” –

And though, we may see these patterns so clearly in others; for ourselves, we may suffer a bit of ‘blind spot.’ And, even when we’re aware of our blind spots, it doesn’t necessarily stop our emotional trigger from being pulled.

So then, what can be done?

According to Dzongen Ponlop Rinpoche, the answer begins with a pause.

“If we can just stop and remain in that space for a moment — without any answers or judgments — we have a chance to connect with the wakeful qualities of our emotions and hear their message. Especially in crises of the heart, our emotions are the first responders, but if we jump to conclusions too soon, it’s like we’re ignoring their instructions. They’re trying to tell us which pathways are clear, and where the emergency exits are (this way to insight, that way to humor — and if all else fails, leave before you do something you’ll regret). If we don’t pause and listen to our emotions, we might just end up running back and forth inside a burning building.”

When we bring awareness to this raw, natural state – we begin to see more clearly where we may be clinging. Our anger, may be a reflection of past hurts; our upset, a reaction to never being heard.

It’s in these thoughts that the lesson truly begins. When we can begin to fully understand ourselves, we can connect to the more meaningful aspect of life…

That is a life that is brimming with love.