Tag: buddhsim

The Beauty in Not Ever Giving Up.

[blockquote source=”Timber Hawkeye”]“Instead of chasing happiness like a hamster on a wheel, I say slow down. Sit. There is nothing you need to buy, and there is nowhere you need to go. Just a few minutes each day of taking inventory of everything in your life worth appreciating, is the first step we can take to guiding the next generation away from this growing sense of entitlement, and toward a deeper appreciation for life itself.”[/blockquote]

When my daughter was much younger, she had the most infuriating of habits. For, whenever I was in a mad dash about – she would literally drag her toes in defiance.

“Hurry up,” I’d grumble, only to be met with the maddening sound of two toddler shoes whoosh…whoosh…whooshing along.

Oh, and it used to make my blood just simply boil. As a single Mom, I was always rushing about – in a hurry for, well…I don’t know what.

My husband had just left, leaving me alone with these two beautiful children and barely the means to make ends meet. It was Mother’s Day when I saw the note on the table,

“By the time you read this – I’ll be gone.”

At first, I was devastated – terrified of the moments to come, and too afraid to let go of ones that had gone. I thought my life was over, but in reality – it had only just begun.

And, in an odd way, I felt relieved – having spent so many years forcing a fit into a world that wasn’t conducive to my inner bliss.

I was exhausted. Fitting in to someone else’s story can be a lot harder than creating your own.

Oh, but my darlings…we must all have our story.

In the months to follow, I burrowed myself into the routine of things. Wake up, brush teeth, feed kids…and, off to bed, once again..

I suppose, in keeping so busy I felt I could push off that which was the inevitable…my inevitable.

The healing…the rediscovering…the stepping boldly through adventure’s door.

There is a Buddhist prayer regarding awakening,

“Enlightenment is like the moon reflected on the water.
The moon does not get wet, nor is the water broken.
Although its light is wide and great,
The moon is reflected even in a puddle an inch wide.
The whole moon and the entire sky
Are reflected in one dewdrop on the grass.” ~ Dogen

At times, I felt this way about my own ‘dusting off’ – because, when the veil was finally lifted, I could feel my connection to everything else.

In the hardened bark of the tallest trees…

In the wetness of sweet grass gently tickling my feet…

Even in the eyes of complete strangers…my dears, I could see myself there, too.

Suddenly, I wasn’t quite so overwhelmed anymore – and, my loneliness was gone.

Looking back, I suppose my daughter was my very first introduction to this, the true heart of Buddhism – offering in her stubborn little steps the beginning of my very own slowing down.

Had I not learned to slow my pace – my dears, this brilliant discovery would surely have been lost.

And, I never would have realized the truth in the beauty of not ever giving up.

The Lesson of the Bonsai Tree.

[dropcap background=”yes” color=”#333333″ size=”50px”]I[/dropcap] was really moved by a passage I read yesterday, from the short story, “Soft Sculpture” by science fiction writer Theodore Sturgeon.

The story is of a young woman,who in the midst of a spiritual crisis, happens upon a lonely older man performing scientific experiments in his orchard. She has arrived there completely by happenstance, and in her wanderings she finds the irrefutable power of love.

At first glance, you might think the story to be limited to just these two characters – but, upon deeper examination and you’ll find the story is one of humanity.

On one hand, you have the heart of a woman who takes it upon blind faith that within all of us there is some measure of light. And that this light, serves to carry us through even our most difficult times.

And, on the other hand, you have that of another man, whose heart has become hardened by the challenges he has faced.

In this story, I suppose we might all identify with both characters – as, it’s never fully one or another. Quite the opposite, in fact – as a deepening of our spiritual roots often requires a great bit of digging…

And, a little “fertilizer” now and then – if you know what I mean.

Interestingly enough, the story is one of balance. To the rigid scientist, this balance occurs at a molecular level and for the young girl, balance is a matter of faith and spirit.

At first, you might think these to be the only two characters of the story…but, look again and you’ll see that a bonsai tree carefully tended through the years is the third.

For, in its twisted branches the scientist poured his love. And though not explicitly stated, I sense the scientist felt it was the only life he could save.

Bonsai is such an art, you see – and, the trees selected for the honor are never the ones we might expect. Rather, they are typically those tossed aside by the nurseries – deemed not worthy for prominent display.

And yet, it’s within these twisted, gnarled branches that true perfection is born.

The story ends with the following passage, too brilliant to be limited by summary, in which the young girl offers to the soured old man,

“People are living, growing things too. I don’t know a hundredth part of what you do about bonsai, but I do know this: when you start one, it isn’t often the strong straight healthy ones you take. It’s the twisted sick ones that can be made most beautiful. When you get to shaping humanity, you might remember that. You do that by watering one side, or turning it just so in the sun. You handle it as if it were a living thing, like a species or a woman or a bonsai. It will be what you want it to be if you let it be itself and take the time and care.”

Indeed, if only we might learn to handle humanity with the same care as that of a living being – we might find our faith would be restored.

The final question she asks of the old man is brilliantly poignant,

“Do you think two sick twisted trees ever made bonsai out of one another?”

What do you think, my dears? Is it possible that two broken spirits might make something beautiful together?

Oh, and p.s. – spoiler alert: The bonsai is humanity.

Much love, and many blessings, my dears ~

 

 

 

Pay Attention to the Lessons That Have Not Yet Been Learned.

[blockquote source=”Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times “]“Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look.”  [/blockquote]

I was distracted recently over a rather silly matter.

My heart which had been basking in the warmth of ‘compassionate mind’ – was unexpectedly tossed from it’s rightful resting pillow.

A dear friend had mentioned something quite innocently in passing, and I…triggered by the memory of a much deeper wound, latched on like a foolish old dog to a bone.

And though, I knew immediately what was happening – I still couldn’t escape the emotion to follow.

I was stuck in the muck of a lingering spot – aware, but nonetheless ‘hooked.’

I apologized immediately, of course – and explained, that my tears were simply part of another matter.

It should have ended there, but over the next several days, I really struggled with a residual energy. I was restless, impatient, and my tolerance, worn. And, with each passing moment, I felt my world narrowing.

I was trapped by something I could neither see, nor yet fully understand. But, I knew enough to stay. To be unafraid of what this new light might reveal.

How many times has this happened to you, my dears? Something is said in passing, a nasty email is received. We feel attacked, threatened, angry…bitter. And, we let in linger.

We tell stories to our friends and mates, attaching further energy to our pain.

All the while, we can feel it festering – poisoning the normally still waters of our being.

This is your ‘edge’, my dears. And, your triggering is an invitation to look a little deeper still.

“Most of us do not take these situations as teachings. We automatically hate them. We run like crazy. We use all kinds of ways to escape — all addictions stem from this moment when we meet our edge and we just can’t stand it. We feel we have to soften it, pad it with something, and we become addicted to whatever it is that seems to ease the pain.” – Pema Chödrön

We’ve all longed for this moment, my dears – in which, we are offered this precious gift of awakening. And yet, we fight it with all and everything we’ve got…while one hand slips, the other grips.

We think it’s the fall we fear – when in reality, what we fear is an honest self reflection.

And, this lingering, my dears? Is simply a reminder…a reminder to pay attention to all those lessons which have not yet been learned.