Tag: Anger

How We Are Defined.

“Enraged with hate, with mind ensnared, humans aim at their own ruin and at the ruin of others.”

It is one of the most pervasive of the Buddha’s teachings; one which explores the delicate intricacies of our self interaction. Sadly, our habit is often bound by reaction, rather than illuminated by the tempering of experience.

Someone says or does something unkind, and we are instantly triggered. We feel anger, hostility and pain – though, do we pause long enough to consider their source?

However painful our experiences, they are just that – one of many millions of moment; a speck of dust, really – notwithstanding the greater ‘investment’.

Only through a deepened understanding of our own anger, hatred, and aggression can we finally begin to understand. We may point our fingers elsewhere, but the true aggressor is within.

A little something to consider, my friends…we are defined not just by these experiences, rather more so by our experience within them.

In peace…

Namaste ❣️

Finding Our Forgiveness.

I remember the first time I hurt my mother’s heart. I was six years old, and in a tantrum-fueled moment I cried, “I don’t like you anymore.”

Of course, it wasn’t true – but at such a young age I was limited in my ability to trace suffering to cause. I was furious, yes – but I was also tired, hungry and completely agitated.

Her response was brilliant: “That’s ok,” she smiled, “I’ve got love enough for two.”

She knew what it meant to forgive; that it wasn’t a sign of weakness rather a truer measure of courage. Only love can bring about the peace we all desire.

Yet still we hold on. We linger within the explosiveness of the initial upset, but also within the frayed emotions that continue in its wake.

And sadly, even when presented with this blessing of forgiveness – we are hesitant to receive it.

Do we not feel worthy of another’s love?

There is one commonality amongst us all – each of us has felt the sharp sting of betrayal, and each of us has at some point harmed another.

Does this truth make us less deserving? Does is obfuscate the path to healing?

Not at all.

Rather, it simply allows us to move forward in our own way. Free from the bindings of a seemingly inescapable hurt.

A little something to consider, my friends ~

In peace, and with much love…

Namaste ❤

The Promise of Now.

Someone once asked me why I ‘bothered to practice.’ He was speaking to the progression of my neurological disease and the potential for finding peace within it.

“Look at you, sitting there all crumpled up,” he said. “I can tell you’re in pain. Why bother?”

And, he was right. I was in pain – chronic, debilitating pain. So much so, that I’d literally lost sleep. I had difficulties tending to my daily chores. There were bills piling up, and dishes to be washed. Even the gardens which once shared such insurmountable joy, were now in a terrible state of disrepair.

And forget about those simple movements – walking, driving, getting up from a chair – all of which were now a labor of love. Accomplished not because I wanted, rather – because others needed me more.

To him, I must have looked the fool – sitting there all alone on my meditation pillow. Hoping to accomplish what? More suffering, more physical pain?

Oh, and wasn’t I angry – at first. I mean, who on earth would dare to judge the manner in which I navigated my fear? This was my path, my pain – my journey.

And, then…

Against the droning hum of the yoga studio fans, my anger lifted. My thoughts, suddenly clearer and less rigid.

Perhaps, it was the sound that drew me in – thunka, thunk, thunk. Much like the heart, its constancy reassured. For a split second, I wasn’t consumed by the outcome.

I found my ‘gap’ – that space between the chaos of thinking mind and the restful bliss of eternal peace.

Somewhere within me, the words find their roots.

“Why bother?” I asked, smiling in return. “For this promise of now; nothing more, nothing less.”

After all, if we can’t find happiness along this path of peace then where else do we expect to find it?

A little something to consider, my loves…

Namaste ❤

Untangling the Anger Knots.

I found myself in an uncustomarily angry mood this morning. I was enraged, actually – which is not generally my habit, save for those few short moments when life pushes me to the test.

My son was recently critically injured. A piece of steel entered his body just below the belt line – destroying all structure that dared to impede its path. Were it not for the actions of one brave ‘quick thinker’ – I’m certain the outcome would have been death.

That’s a lot to process for a sometimes over-protective ‘Mama Bear’, though – I raised him to embrace life without limits.

There’s a risk implied for those with courage. Likewise, there is immeasurable reward.

I was angriest with those who hadn’t yet stepped forward to offer a kindness in this space of uncertainty.

“You need to let it go,” someone said to me. I walked away feeling the tears welling up in my eyes.

And then I remembered the Buddha’s most fundamental teaching – that is, in order to experience happiness we must first free ourselves.

The practice encourages this path, and – these moments where our edges are further abraded? They are one of the greatest blessings of all.

Anger, in and of itself, is a bond – like a tightened knot it restricts our capacity to experience true freedom.

And though these feelings may be valid, of course – in the end we must choose whether to loosen that knot.

Though, to do so – we must be willing to approach with the heart of tender loving-kindness.

Whether the actions of another or our own tangled perceptions, we greet all with the energy of equanimity. As, these moments are intended to challenge our present understanding, and broaden the aperture by which we view this world.

And, knowing this, I can begin the work to truly know myself.

In peace, my loves…

Namaste ❤️