[blockquote source=”Kurt Vonnegut”]“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, “It might have been.”[/blockquote]

I volunteer at a local retirement home.

Not that I am much of any help of all, but…I do make for quite good company.  And, always I bring the Sunday news with a basket of my very best homemade treats.

I know my place.

Likewise, I consider it an honor to basque in the glory of the ‘good old days’ with some of humanity’s finest.

I’m a good listener, too – instinctively knowing the best places to nod, and when to keep my mouth hushed, too.

Oh, and I’ve heard the most wondrous tales – of love and life’s adventures, and ‘a thing or two I’ve learned, you know.’

And in all those hours, never once a complaint – not ever a, ‘my body aches’ or a snarly “I hate this place.” In fact, I dare say the only words that have come close are the somber reflections of, “Darling, I wish I had…”

“I wish I’d gone after that girl…”

“I wish I’d had the strength…”

“I wish I’d known full well back then, that which I know right now..”

Each day I cozy up to my keyboard, thoughtfully considering what little bits of wisdom I might share. And always, it’s granted to me by the grace of these moments – these moments of open-hearted listening.

“I wish I had…”

Life is short, my dears. And yet, we spend our days doting over the past we wished we had – finding always the silliest of excuses to move farther away from that which we love most of all.

And, so, what advice might I share on this day?

My darlings, please don’t waste this precious human life on all those, “I wish I had”s.

So, why not make today the day you move closer to all those little things that make your heart smile BIG?

The great adventures…

The fearless explorations…

And all of those life-long dreams…

[blockquote source=”Rumi”]My heart is so small it’s almost invisible. How can you place such big sorrows in it? “Look,” He answered, “your eyes are even smaller, yet they behold the world.”[/blockquote]

Do you remember the joy in discovering rain for the very first time? The splashing through puddles, with a fearless force, and absolutely no regard to how you’ll ever get that mud out?

With toes scrunching deeply, we discovered this earth – climbing way up to the highest branches, and just for a hint of a better look. And when time was only marked by the grumblings of our bellies?

I remember my first introduction to Buddhism, a beautiful passage about the importance of being present:

[blockquote source=”Thích Nhất Hạnh”]You must be completely awake in the present to enjoy the tea.
Only in the awareness of the present, can your hands feel the pleasant warmth of the cup.
Only in the present, can you savor the aroma, taste the sweetness, appreciate the delicacy.
If you are ruminating about the past, or worrying about the future, you will completely miss the experience of enjoying the cup of tea.
You will look down at the cup, and the tea will be gone.
Life is like that.
If you are not fully present, you will look around and it will be gone.
You will have missed the feel, the aroma, the delicacy and beauty of life.
It will seem to be speeding past you. The past is finished.
Learn from it and let it go.
The future is not even here yet. Plan for it, but do not waste your time worrying about it.
Worrying is worthless.
When you stop ruminating about what has already happened, when you stop worrying about what might never happen, then you will be in the present moment.
Then you will begin to experience joy in life.[/blockquote]

At the time, I thought I understood its meaning – pay attention. Oh, but it’s so very much more than that.

For, just as the Lotus in breaking free of this earth finally realizes the magnitude and brilliance of light – so too, may we discover through the course of our own challenges.

In breaking through, we are breaking free – and that, my dears, is the basis of our awakening.

When everything becomes new, once again.

Even the tiniest of rain drops can become a thrilling new miracle.

Namaste, and much love on this day, my dears ~ and may we all embrace dear Kayden’s unbridled sense of discovery in each of our every moments.

Kayden + Rain from Nicole Byon on Vimeo.

[blockquote source=”Jodi Picoult”]”In the space between yes and no, there’s a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are.”[/blockquote]

I watched a young man at the gas pump this morning, his face twisted in the anger of a day that hadn’t quite gone his way.

And, though it was only just 7:00 a.m. – I could tell, he had already resolved all these matters in his head.

“I’m sick of this, just do it!” he snarled into the phone. There;s a very fine point between energy building, and energy bursting – and, if we’re not mindful this energy can easily consume us.

I watched as he slammed the phone against the inside of the car’s dashboard window – the device exploding into the

Slamming his phone against car’s dashboard window – I watched as the device exploded into the pieces of his own unsettledness.

Embarrassed, he looked over to me – his eyes lowered in a pain-filled, sideways glance.

“Well,” he harrumphed, rather dismissively, ” I guess it’s just going to be one of those days.”

And, being the mindful (read: sometimes, meddlesome) Buddhist, I couldn’t help but to offer my very own insight.

“My dear, this life is precisely what you’ve chosen for it.”

And, by the sound of those tires screeching off in the distance, I have to say…I don’t think he quite appreciated my input.

Such is the life of a mindfully-meddlesome Buddhist ~ 😉

You know, I’ve never quite understood this often painful habit – of shifting blame to the Universe, for matters related to self. And, instead of considering the much more obvious – that we are the masters of our very own circumstances.

I mean, as if the Universe didn’t have enough to sort out…that it might actually take this time to make our lives a living hell.

And yet, our lives are filled with these moments of obvious ‘having known better’s…

My dears, our lives…ever minute…is a reflection of these choices that we make. All of the upset, the unsettledness…the joy, the bliss…all comes down to these choices, right here. And, though these choices may seem difficult, at the time – rest assured, they are never, ever impossible.

As they say, life delivers the tune…but we decide the dance.

[blockquote source=”Elizabeth Gilbert”]The problem, simply put, is that we cannot choose everything simultaneously. So we live in danger of becoming paralyzed by indecision, terrified that every choice might be the wrong choice.[/blockquote]

Indeed, I believe we’ve all felt the paralysis of indecision – so terrified in making the worst possible choices, that we end up, quite sadly…doing nothing.

Is it any wonder why we often feel such emptiness? Attributing the cause to matters outside of self, rather than addressing the true source of our upset…

Are we perhaps a bit too afraid to discover, that this hesitation is our suffering…?

It puts an entirely new spin on things, now doesn’t it?

And, realizing that in the end..

That destiny is not a matter of chance; but rather, more so…a matter of choosing.

And, if this is the case, my dears…what do you choose on this day?

[pullquote align=”left”]Be still. Stillness reveals the secrets of eternity ― Laozi[/pullquote]

I was having such difficulties writing this morning, the result of a restless night sleep.

It happens, you know, from time to time – these moments of great creative unsettledness. And generally when our hearts are searching so desperately for something, only to have that something find us first.

I’ve learned over these very many years, that this process of turning loving-thoughts into words…it can’t ever be forced. It has to simply just occur, to manifest in and of its way…at the time and place it has best determined.

And, we shouldn’t ever fight it, my dears…lest we create a much bigger spiritual ‘mess.’

Over the years, I have learned my place – that this process of turning loving-thought into words…can not ever be forced.

Sometimes, we have to be absolutely still to be heard. And, when I finally do let go of my struggling – the words inevitably find me.

And, always in the most curious of ways.

The universe has such a funny way, of waiting until its entirely sure that we are truly ready to pay attention.

Kind of like my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Dingledine – whose militant withholding of those delicious graham treats secured the silence of every last one of us.

In those days, the motivation for stillness was directly proportionate to the amount of peanut ‘smooshed’ across a Keebler cinnamon graham.

And, then as we grow older, our view of this world becomes somewhat more complicated – sometimes jaded by the challenges we have experienced.

But, it’s only really our perception now, isn’t it? Seeing things in such stark contrast…we become blind to those little things in between.

Such as the clouds, gathering in wisps of grey and threatening to overshadow the majesty of the early morning sunrise. We identify only with what we see.

But, what should happen as the rain begins to fall? Do we not then see the cloud with those drops of rain? Or, in the tiny drops of dew that collect along the inner leaves?

Why can we not always see that the cloud is in there, too? And, only having changed just a bit?

You see, my dears – it’s impossible for the clouds to ever really go away. They simply transform into a million other things – it’s only our perception that has ever really changed.

It can become snow or sleet or freezing rain; or the mist that sometimes fogs our vision.

But the cloud is always there, my friends – simply waiting for that single instance of recognition.

And when we are still, we are finally able to see this – that nothing, not even the ominous of greys can ever dare to take the sun’s light away.

So you see, even when our inner peace may seem challenged – rest assured, the light of our hearts can never be extinguished.

Much love, my most beautiful friends ~ and here’s to the light that shines on within.

[blockquote source=”Ellen Bass”]to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.[/blockquote]

I was watching a news story the other day, about a local woman who during the course of a most brutal past several months, felt she had lost all connection to hope left in her world.

She defined her days in terms of existing, and not living – with nightfall finding her, alone and wishing for that ‘deeper sleep to come.’

And, I felt so sadly for her, really…as, she hasn’t just lost hope, she’d lost her love of this life, as well.

She lost that reason for silly, late night talks with a friend…and morning coffee watching the red splash of cardinals pop in the trees;

She lost the joy in spending Saturdays with family, and letting the smell of bread rising fill every nook and corner of her home;

She lost the laughter in watching the squirrels scramble and dash along the fence line;

She lost that bliss filled contentment that finds you only along the very best of wooded trails;

And that sweet, warmth that finds it’s way through, even when bitterness tries its best to snuff out our fire? It would seem she lost that, too.

I have often wondered, how is it that this world exists equally for all?And yet, these keen human sense can fail so miserably for some? That they end up missing the gloriousness of life, through misted veil of stories their ego has created…

It reminded me of a quote, by Pema Chödrön;

“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”

Indeed, it often is.If only we might learn to lean in, and soften up a bit. To treat ourselves with the loving-kindness we so very much deserve.

Perhaps, we might find even in the darkest of skies – there’s always a little light trying to find its way through?

And, isn’t a little light all the we need – to see, once again. all the little things we may have overlooked before?

Namaste, my most beautiful friends ~ wishing you all the love and light, from my heart to yours.

Oh, yes…and a little side note, my dears: Whenever you feel you’ve lost life’s love, remember…there’s always a little waiting for you, right here.