The Blessing of Our Burdens.
When I was first diagnosed with Parkinson’s, I remember thinking “well, that’s just great…” I had just celebrated my 42nd birthday, and had ‘big plans’ for the rest of my life. But, then this thing happened – this big, ugly thing – and, I imagined the worst.
I thought in terms of limitations and burden; never considering how something of this magnitude might serve to liberate. But, there it was in all its glory – another life lesson begging audience with ego.
And, I had PLANS – a family to raise, a book to write, a community to grow. How could this possibility fit within that context?
Was I angry? Sure, a little (at first). Though this anger was rooted, I assure you, in fear.
I was fearful of change, afraid of that ever-looming ‘what might happen next’. I feared for those who might soon be impacted, and worried over the weight of their burden.
Though I never consider how they might be enriched; how my slowing down might actually be of service to all.
My pace became more deliberate, as I learned to steady the wobble in my feet. But, in slowing down my world began to change; I began to see that which is often missed. At first, the bark of a centuries-old Elm and a squirrel standing sentry beneath her boughs. My fingers traced circles in the bordered Brook Moss, as I wondered what life might find refuge there.
Each and every path led me closer to ‘home’. And, within each precarious step I found the source of my gratitude.
Life has a way of twisting circles on a dime. Though, we are never bound by circumstances – rather, we are made free because of them.